Despite their beauty and their wardrobes, none of them knew what they wanted in a partner or what love really looked like. We felt sorry for them when things didn't work out, just like we feel sorry for our friends and ourselves. But in the course of 6 seasons the only one who ever became any happier was Charlotte who realized that her vision of love was unrealistic and immature. Only when she grew up and got over herself did she find happiness where she least expected it. And isn't that the real goal, to get to a place where we feel happy, content and fulfilled?
If Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda had come to me for coaching, I would have introduced them to Naked Dating and the series would have been a lot shorter and involved a lot less shopping. Sorry. Instead, I would have sat them down and told them that, if they wanted real and healthy relationships, they needed to refocus their energy and start asking the right questions. What's so great about me? Should I be spending less time on Barneys.com and more time on Match.com?
Don't get me wrong, just because I am being critical of what these four women represented doesn't mean I didn’t like the show. I think it was brilliant for the time. When it originally aired, I admired the four of them. I thought the characters were well drawn. Even though Samantha was always an audacious flirt (please, don't be as overtly sexual as she was), she did know how to have fun with men. What made her so attractive was that she exuded confidence, playfulness and passion.
What I appreciated most about the show, though, was their relationships with one another. Even though the girls never really gave each other truly insightful relationship advice, they gave each other a lot of love and support. I just wanted to know, if my girlfriends and I had to go through the pains of being single, why we couldn't be as hip, sleek and stylish as they were? As Carrie once said, "The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes … " … even if they are 500 bucks a pop.
Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC
Transformational Dating and Relationship Coach