8 Reasons Why Your Relationship Will Never Work If You Can't Be Honest With Yourself

Photo: weheartit
Nine Reasons Why Being Honest With Yourself Is Important
Love, Self

No relationship can survive, let alone thrive, without honesty.

Most people define themselves by a "collective public opinion" and are, therefore, disconnected from themselves. If you have this tendency, you may not even know why being honest with yourself is important.

Self-deception starts early. Children at play are actually children at work, busy observing and making conclusions about themselves and their environments.

Every approval, disapproval, gesture of inclusion, or rejection leaves its mark as a "survival code" that remains embedded into adulthood. And those children will ultimately grow up to "lie" about how the psychologically painful realities of childhood affect them as adults.

The unsustainable message of "perfection equals love" scrambles for its own survival in a myriad of sneaky, unhealthy ways. Denial, rationalization, projection, emotional reasoning and other forms of self-deception become natural ways of dealing with life. But they only lead to increased pain and regret.

And that childhood baggage — you guessed it — gets passed down…until someone in its path decides, "It stops with me."

Let’s explore 9 reasons why you need to be honest with yourself is important:

1. What is true for you always exists at the core of you.

While everything else around you may change on a dime, what is authentic and true is immutable. If you’re going to rely on anything to get you through life, shouldn’t it be that constant? Think Dorothy and the ruby slippers.


RELATED: 10 Ways To Be TRULY Authentic, According To A Psychologist


2. Being honest with yourself makes you fearless.

When you are connected to your core truth and values, you aren’t affected by others’ negative opinions of you. You know who you are and don’t believe you need to change that.

You also don’t feel the need to judge others or gossip about them, as your security makes you accepting of yourself and others.

3. Honesty is essential to knowing what you want. 

If you build your identity on the fluctuating foundation of public opinion and "fashion du jour", nothing will be constant. And if nothing is constant, nothing will be reliable.

In order to pursue what you want, you have to be able to rely on yourself. Not millions of people you don’t know. Yourself.

4. It allows you to develop the passion necessary to excel. 

Again, this is about planting your truth at the core of your being and growing your passions from there. When you have something meaningful that is "always there for you", you become empowered.

5. It is essential to being honest with others. 

No relationship can survive, let alone thrive, without honesty. And if you are hiding your truth from yourself, how will you ever find it to share it with someone else?

Relationships that are healthy, happy, and balanced are comprised of people who are in touch with their authentic selves. And this authentic self-connection is reflected in effective communication.


RELATED: 5 Reasons Why It’s SO Important To Be Authentic In A Relationship


6. It leads to feelings of openness, expansion, inner joy, and freedom. 

When your physical core is strong and stable, your entire body is stronger and more fluid. The same is true for your spiritual and emotional core. When that is stable, the rest of your life is free to be expansive.

7. You provide yourself with clarity. 

Lies will always keep you stuck and only hurt the person holding them. When you are honest with yourself, you will always know what you need to do, even if that is difficult.

You will make wiser decisions about relationships and jobs, and will more immediately avoid those situations that don’t serve you.

8. It increases personal responsibility for both your choices and their consequences. 

And acceptance of responsibility is foundational to changing your life in a positive way. Changing is then not simply "changing", it is evolving. And as you evolve, the world responds by offering you new opportunities to understand yourself.

Of all the reasons why being honest with yourself is important, perhaps none is more important than this:

As you stand firmly in your own truth, the life that once had you hiding behind public opinion becomes beautiful.


RELATED: 5 Steps To Opening The Real You And Showing Your Authentic Self


Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert and creator of the neuroscience Neuro Associative Programming (NAP). If you need help finding your truth and living an authentic life, reach out to her or e-mail her at Lisa@finetofab.com.

This article was originally published at FINEtoFAB. Reprinted with permission from the author.