The question is, although your partner can learn how to Get Present with practice, can YOU learn to value yourself more?
Actually, yes. And even though only 12 percent of women report having high self-esteem, there is hope and help right here!
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It’s your time for a fresh start. You are worthy of being in a relationship where you are your man’s priority (at least when you are in bed—because of course, he may have other relationships/obligations which require attention at other times and this is healthy and necessary for a interdependent relationship to flourish). The onus is on YOU to demand this from your partner.
1. Model the behavior you wish to attract. Practice being present with your partner at all times. He may not have experienced this before. Let’s hope it’s his lack of experience that created the problem, not his lack of fondness for you!
2. Make the bedroom a sanctuary. No television, cell phones, iPods, or treadmills allowed. Create a space that is conducive to two things: sex and sleep. If you are having sex in a public place, the probability for distraction will be high no matter what!
3. Clearly express the problem. When things do go astray, about the behavior that you do not like, why you don’t like it and how it makes you feel. Men are not mind-readers. For some reason, we tend to forget that!
4. Believe that you deserve the best. We all deserve to love and be loved but we cannot give to others that which we do not first have for ourselves. So, love yourself up! Feel good about yourself so you don’t NEED it from anyone else. When you eliminate the need for external validation, you will cherish his attention that much more (and, he’ll give it more readily, too, because there’s no bigger turn-off than neediness).
Take this lesson to heart. When you set boundaries, your partner will very quickly get the picture of what is and is not acceptable. Have enough self-respect to honor those limits and you will be rewarded with a relationship that meets all of your needs and desires.
Now, turn off your phone and go have uninterrupted, mind-blowing sex!
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Yours in possibility,