How To Turn Friends And Family Into Relationship Wingmen

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YourTango Experts explore how a good love life wingman or wingwomen should work for you.

How To Test Out A Wingman's Advice
Sometimes our parents or loved ones can see patterns in our relationships that we, being so caught up in them, cannot. While it's natural to feel criticized when someone close to us sounds in on our love lives, it's also important to take in their advice and digest it for yourself. You may found out they're completely wrong, or you may learn an important lesson about yourself. Here's how to test out a loved one's advice by looking within yourself:

Make two columns on a sheet of paper. Label one: Keeping it Real and two: Aspirations.


Now write a list of qualities that describe you. For example, are you:

  • funny
  • smart
  • industrious
  • lazy
  • generous
  • gossipy
  • adventurous
  • impulsive
  • honest
  • spiritually-inclined
  • sophisticated
  • down-to-earth
  • thrifty

Really tune in and be honest with yourself.

In the second column, write down qualities you would like to have. Then, compare these two columns. Circle the qualities you have that are the same as the characteristics you want to have. Then look on your Aspirations list and see which qualities you need to cultivate.

Finally, analyze your circle of friends. How do they support and or take away from your ability to create the life you want. Things to think about:

  • Where did you meet them?
  • What activities do you enjoy doing together?
  • Is each person reliable, considerate, compassionate?
  • Is it time to branch out, meet new friends and expand your circle?
  • Or, do you need to show gratitude for some friendships that you take for granted?

When you take time to assess yourself and your relationships, you gain clarity and can strategize for progress. 9 Signs Your Friends Are Ruining Your Game

Krsnanandini &Tariq, Counselor/Therapist

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