Getting Married? In Your Wedding Planning Don't Forget This

Planning for a wedding can be a really exciting time.  However, caught up in the wave of enthusiasm, many people don't include marriage preparation on their checklists.  It's easy to understand why, after all, most couples are still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship where it seems that nothing could ever go wrong, right?

If there's one thing I've learned about marriages (from my own and from observing countless couples who have come to see me for help pulling their relationships back together), it's that healthy marriages require hard work in time, attention and nurturing to continue to flourish.  A marriage is like a garden that needs tending to survive.  Good couple's communication and high levels of emotional safety in a relationship can increase the chances of having a strong, connected marriage that can better withstand inevitable curve balls. 

Do you and your partner have the necessary tools to keep your marriage strong? 

• How are your communication skills?  Do you listen, validate and empathize with each other?
• How “emotionally safe” do you feel together? Can you turn towards each other for security and safety?
• How is your relationship balance? Is there adequate attention paid to the “you,” “me” and “we” of your relationship? 
• Do you have old childhood and family of origin wounds that come up and interfere with your relationship?
• Have you considered your individual, marriage and family goals? Are they in alignment?

How do you get premarital education to address the above issues?

Thankfully, you have a number of choices and can pick the one that resonates the most with you both.  Whether it's premarital counseling at your church/synagogue, with a relationship therapist or a self-help book - the important thing is to get it somewhere.

If you're a "do-it-yourself" type, you might enjoy my workbook, The Premarital Counseling Workbook for Couples that specifically addresses the above issues.  If you feel like your relationship is not as stable as it could be, seeing somebody face-to-face is probably a better choice to manage any challenging speed bumps that may come up.

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