Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

If These 10 Things Are Happening, It's A BOOTY Call (Sorry!)

Photo: Growing Self
booty call relationship
Contributor
Buzz, Love

How to know for SURE what's really going on.

First of all, let me state for the record, I have NO issue with the concept of booty call. If both partners are consenting and know exactly what they’ve signed up for — great.


Giphy

However, it seems as though women can’t see the forest for the trees inside the booty call at times.

Meaning, the man involved knows exactly what it is. He defines it by his unwillingness to take the relationship further. Her friends even know what it is.

However, she wants to think there is something more serious going on — or at least hopes there might be someday if she hangs out long enough.


Odyssey

It used to be incredibly simple. The rules around the booty call were pretty straight forward. Now, though, things aren't quite as simple as they used to be.

Believe it or not, there are several high-bred booty call varieties on the market. The thing that remains the same is this; very frequently the female partner is in total denial about the status of the relationship.

So, to help clarify... (you're welcome).

 

1. "Dating" just ends up turning into sex


tenor

You know you might be a booty call if your “dates” don’t involve date like activities.

You aren’t going to dinner and a movie, or a concert, or a ballgame. He may be doing those things, but you aren’t included.

Also, you may be doing those things, but he doesn’t care to tag along.

 

2. Holidays and special events are completely off the table


New York Cliche

You know you might be a booty call if you aren’t celebrating holidays and events together.

He might show up for your birthday, at about 11:45 pm, but he didn’t show up for the birthday party your best friend threw for you and he didn’t bring a gift unless it was lingerie or a sex toy.

 

3. He's never around when you need him


Wiffle Gif

You know you might be a booty call if he disappears when you need support. He doesn’t make a scene about disappearing, he just doesn’t come around. He’s busy.

Like when your grandmother passes and all you hear from him is maybe a text or two for a couple of weeks.

 

4. Texting is the only way you can get ahold of him


tenor

Speaking of texting, you know you might be a booty call if your primary form of communication outside of the bedroom is texting or some other form of electronic communication.

 

5. You've never met anyone in his family


WordPress

You know you might be a booty call if you haven’t met a single member of his family or his best friend’s wife or significant other. Unless his family lives across the country, you should cross paths with one of them at least occasionally if you’re in a real relationship.

Very complex booty calls might have random contact with a friend. However, you won’t likely be included in group activities.

 

6. Everything tends to turn back to sex


Giphy

You know you might be a booty call if he never sends flowers, gives presents, or sends emails that don’t involve discussion about the next time you might hook up.


7. After sex, he's GONE


Bustle

You know you might be a booty call if he never, EVER stays the night and you rarely see him before 9:30 p.m.

 

8. You have a feeling he's seeing other people


Giphy

You know you might be a booty call him he frequently references other women in conversation. He may not say he’s dating them, but he definitely lets you know you aren’t the only woman in his life, or the only thing he’s looking at.

 

9. He isn't interested in making it official


tumblr

You know you might be a booty call if he hasn’t changed his Facebook status or removed his Match.com profile.

Now I know it’s customary in some circles not to do that in the beginning stages of a relationship. However, the beginning stages of a relationship do not last weeks and weeks or months and months.

 

10. He's only looking for sex


Odyssey

You know you might be a booty call if he more or less TELLS you so. He really enjoys having sex with you but he flat out says he isn’t ready to be exclusive and you know he’s still on the market.

When he tells you he's not interested in a relationship... take him at his word.

 

The thing to understand is this, much like being the other woman rarely results in getting the man, being the booty call also rarely results in getting the man.

If you might be the booty call and what you’ve got right now is just fine with you, then you’re in luck, because he’s likely to stay in it just the way it is, that is until one of you finds someone else.

However, if you’ve got that heart pull that says you really dig this guy and you want more then a roll in the sheets a couple of times a week, then you need to get honest with yourself and cut the cord.

 

 

Author
Contributor