Your profile isn’t the product of a marketing plan. It’s a way of introducing yourself.
Someone said to me recently that writing her online dating profile felt like standing in front of a mirror naked trying to find her best side in florescent lighting. The word vulnerable comes to mind.
I recently read an article that talked about how a profile is simple a tool to “market” yourself. By the end of the article even I had sweaty palms and a tight chest, and I left my online profile days behind me four years ago when I met my husband on Match. The premise of the article was simple, you’ve got to stand out above the competition and the competition is stiff... That’s one way of looking at it and if you choose to adopt that attitude you are already locked into a feeling that dating is hard.
Another way of looking at it is that your love will find you. Competition in dating or business or anything else is so 1980’s. Dating is as fun as we let it be. Your profile isn’t the product of a marketing plan. It’s a way of introducing yourself, not selling yourself.
So, how do you introduce yourself with ease and not angst???
1. Use your tag line wisely. Go for getting a smile. Everyone likes a little brevity. People tend to take the tag line very seriously, trying to say everything important in one sentence. Lighten it up a little and use your tag line to create curiosity not “inspire”. The tag line on my Match.com profile was, “This is a woman Quentin Tarantino would write about”. I didn’t come up with that line of literary genius. My son did. I balked at it when he proposed it. However, I decided to humor him. It was way more effective then “Looking for someone to travel the world and share my life with...”.
2. Speaking of my son writing my tag line, he wrote most of my profile too. Get someone who loves you to help out. More specifically get someone who loves you who is the gender you are want to attract to help out. Men and women do not really speak the same language so getting a translator on board pays.
3. For the love of God and all things Holy, be honest. If you aren’t into sports or the great outdoors, don’t elude to the fact that you like camping or football. If your idea of dinner four nights a week involves a drive through window, don’t indicate a healthy life style is a high priority. You’re looking for a compatible mate. You won’t find it if you are trying to write to an imaginary audience saying the things you think they want to hear.
4. Generally less is more, but too little isn’t enough. If you’re an online dating site you know what I mean. Profiles aren’t intended to be a biography or a place where you rattle off all you’re hopes and dreams. You wouldn’t do that if you were introducing yourself to someone in person. That said, too short isn’t going to create enough curiosity to get things moving to the next step. Rule of thumb for women writing a profile is use fewer words then you might want to and rule of thumb for men is use more.
5. Get a great picture, not just good, make it great. Make it recent. Don’t go through your pics from the last five years and pic the one that is least embarrassing. Don’t crop out anyone, because even if you’re cropping out your little sister, people will think it’s your ex. Take the time to get some good photos. Get someone who loves you to take them. Make sure you have some photos that back up your profile. For example, if you say you’re the adventurous type, get some photos online that show you being adventurous. Additionally, try to include a mix of pics. A couple that show you being you all dressed up are a good touch along with a couple that show you having fun doing something cool. A picture is worth a thousand words, so feel free to use your pics to tell a story.
Lisa Hayes C.Ht. is the author of the book, How to Escape from Relationship Hell. She is also the host of The Relationship RX Show. For more information and resources about marriage and relationships visit www.escapefromrelationshiphell.com or subscribe to her FREE newsletter Relationship RX.