We've all heard it — "You have to be the person you want to attract." Seems like a no brainer. In fact, it's one of those things you hear so often you kind of quit actually hearing it. I can't say how often I hear someone going on and on about the qualities they want in a partner, when they don't have those qualities themselves. Bottom line: it doesn't work. Here are some reasons why:
1. In a very practical way, if you're out in the world experiencing the kinds of things would appreciate in a partner, you are likely to meet other people who like the kinds of things you do. By being the kind of person you want to attract, you can't avoid being in the physical proximity of the kind of person you want to meet.
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2. When something is very important to you and you aren't giving it to yourself, you become emotionally needy, hoping someone will deliver it to you. When you're dating, expecting someone to add value to your life in a calculated way comes off as desperate. That's not attractive.
3. You get what you focus on: it's science. Who you are in the world is the most accurate indicator of your focus. Who you are is a compilation of your thoughts, your behavior, your hopes and dreams. It's a vibrational signal. Alignment is what brings things into your life. If you want a certain kind of person, you have to be in alignment with them.
The question to ask yourself is: "Am I the kind of person who my dream man or woman would fall in love with?" It not, take an honest look at what areas of your personality you could improve on. Are they also the qualities you list as "must-haves" in a potential partner?
Trust me on this: no matter where you're at, you can attract someone into your life. Everyone wants to be loved by someone. However, if you aren't the person who the future love of your life would fall for, should you really be dating? Perhaps you should cultivate a better sense of self and work on becoming that person. If you're feeling desperate and insecure, guess what kind of person you'll attract? The best way to meet your soulmate is to become the very best version of yourself.
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Give yourself all the things you want someone else to give you; even the things you think you can't. Align with what you really want so that you don't need it from anyone else anymore. It's that simple! Do that, buckle up, and watch the magic unfold.
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