What's Your Attraction Factor?

By

What's Your Attraction Factor?

I can't tell you how many times I hear something to the effect of,
"I'll be ready to start dating when I lose this damn twenty pounds." 
This comes in many variations, but the essence of it is always the
same.  "I will be willing to put myself out there when I feel more
worthy of being loved."   I used to try to point out the ridiculousness
of that statement and encourage, (or push) people to move past that
silliness and to just get out there.

These days I have
reconsidered that approach.  From an attraction standpoint, both
energetic and physical, the most accurate predictor of what we will
attract is simple.  It's what we think we deserve.  So, here's the
deal.  If for some reason, real or imagined, you think you don't
deserve to be fully loved until you lose that twenty pounds, or until
you've balanced your checkbook, or whatever, but you go out and attract
a love partner anyway, you will in fact attract a partner that for some
reason thinks and treats you like you are twenty pounds short of
perfect.  Ick... 

I can track back in my own life some pretty
horrific relationships I attracted when I wasn't fully in love with
myself.  At the end of a six year relationship when my self esteem was
at rock bottom, I set out to fill my lonely void before taking the time
to heal my heart and love myself fully, I attracted two record breaking
bad relationships in a row.  Not one, but two.  Looking bad the chain
of events was predictable.  In the thick of it, all I knew was that I
felt like a pathetic loser and the men in my life were helping me prove
that over and over again.  It was bad news.

Now, I honestly
believe that if I set out of love myself the way I wanted to be loved,
I could have saved myself, literally years in relationship hell. 
Bottom line is this, if you don't believe with every fiber of your
being that you are a divine child of the Universe, whole in every way,
sexy to your core, and completely worthy of only fabulous things, you
shouldn't be in the market to attract a mate - not yet anyway.  Here is
the truth, you are a divine child of the Universe, whole in every way,
sexy to your core, and completely worthy of only fabulous things, but
me telling you that doesn't matter.  You have to know that yourself,
really truly know it.  If you want the love of your life, who will
cherish you in every way, take the time to fully immerse yourself in
appreciating your amazing nature and nurturing your sense of unshakable
deserving.  You can only attract what you really think you deserve. 
What do you think you're attraction factor really is?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB