The Valentine's Day before I met my husband, my best friend from high school and I were both single. She was visiting from out of town. We split a bottle of wine and got serious about the task of making "the list". Most of us have done this, either intentionally on paper or in our heads. We make a list of all the traits and qualities we want in a future mate we fall in love with. I'd done this ritual several times before.
Law of attraction says we get what we focus on and a huge part of that is getting crystal clear about what it is we want. So, making the list makes sense. I know lots of people who have had success with their lists. I also know a lot of people who haven't. When it fails, we wonder why.
I believe it's because the list itself is misguided. The bottom line is everything we want is about how we think we will feel when we get that thing. So, when we make a list of specific qualities ranging from height, to income, to personality traits, we are basically telling the universe how to deliver the goods. The problem is sometimes those goods don't deliver the feelings we really want.
If you really want to leverage the list you aren't using it to build a better man or woman. Understanding how you want to feel is an architectural blueprint for your future.
I want to feel passionate.
I want to feel appreciated.
I want to feel certain.
I want to feel deeply loved.
I want to feel financially secure.
I want to feel adventure.
You get the point. A list like that is very powerful. I list like that is about getting to the heart of what you really want. The rest is for the Universe to sort out. You might be surprised in a very pleasant way how that all happens.
For More Love Advice From YourTango:
- 25 Romantic Ways To Say 'I Love You'
- 5 Ways To Be Happy About Your Love Life Right Now!
- 50 Love Quotes We Adore
Lisa Hayes C.Ht. is the Love Whisperer. She is a Law of Attraction Relationship Coach and author of The Passion Plan and Escape from Relationship Hell. She specializes in helping people get the love they want, no matter where they are in their lives. You can find her at her digit home, www.lisamhayes.com. Get her free audio, How to Talk to a Man, HERE.