If It Isn't Fun

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If It Isn't Fun

There is a commonly held belief that relationships, especially marriages take work.   In that old model of relationship you know that hard times are a coming.  You know that being with someone for any length of time is going to present all sorts of unpredictable challenges.  However, once you commit to a relationship, you're in it to win it, no matter how much hard work it takes.  You're going to do your time, and put in the work, and get through the hard times, come hell or high water, for better or for worse.  I mean, it's in the vows, so you're going to do it.  The harder the times, and the stickier the work, the prouder you can be when you get through it.  The bigger the problem, the shinier the merit badge...

So old school.  Oh so last year...

The new paradigm in marriage goes like this - wonderful relationships require energy, not work, but energy.  I'm talking about fun focused energetic attention.  Maybe relationships are easy.  Sure, life might throw some stuff your way, being dealing with it together is way better then dealing with it alone.  Relationships that are celebrated actually get riper and richer with time.  The more fun and play, the better.  Fabulous relationships get even more fabulous the more they are appreciated.  The really good news is the sex gets better and better as time gently flows on.  The more loving energy the relationship gets the more it flourishes and blossoms.  You know, energy goes where attention flows and when a relationship gets attention it keeps on growing stronger and stronger.  We know this stuff.  So, why would we ever consider that old school idea of hard work again???

I personally am not in it for the hard work.  I am fundamentally lazy, a lifetime commitment of hard work isn't my cup of tea.  I'm in it for the romance, excitement, joy, and bliss of it.  I plan on being in it for those same reasons a decade from now too.  I love looking for reasons to celebrate my fabulous love, it's way more fun that way.  If you're in a relationship I challenge you to celebrate right along with me.  If you're not, celebrate the one you're going to be in sooner then later.  Honestly, like with almost anything else, if it's not fun, you're probably not doing it right.

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