I recently heard from a client I hadn't talked to in several months. She was almost in tears when she said, "Lisa, I just want to know one thing. I want to know how to spot a lie."
When she was 28, Camie was in a car accident that seriously injured her back. She spent several months in intensive rehab, but in the months and years following the accident, she never really got back to normal. She was 37, and also recovering from a traumatic breakup after infidelity took her hostage.
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Camie looked in the mirror. She was, single, unhappy and 100 pounds heavier than she wanted to be. In that moment, she vowed to change everything—and she did. It started with a personal trainer to get in shape. She also hired a relationship coach to help her avoid another bad breakup. I told her she needed to build a life she loved before bringing someone into it. Her personal trainer told her getting fit had to be fun and a way of life.
Several months after hiring her trainer, not only was Camie thinner, but her entire life was very different, because she was much more active than she'd ever been before in every way. From kayaking to running, Camie learned she loved sports. She joined a volleyball league and a local running club. Camie had done exactly what she set out to do. She had friends, participated in a lot of activities and had a strong and healthy body. She had built a life she loved. So, it was time to start dating.
She began online dating and within a few days found a profile that caught her eye. He was her age and said he lived for outdoor activities. He said he played in a basketball league, wanted someone to travel and camp with and claimed to be a self professed fitness fanatic. Given her recent lifestyle changes, she wanted someone who shared her passion for an active life.
On their first date she noticed he was a little heavier than she'd pictured him being. He told her he wasn't playing basketball right now because he'd injured his ankle several months before. For their fourth date she invited him to go on a Sunday afternoon jog at her favorite park followed by a picnic. He couldn't keep up with her—not even close. They only ran for a few minutes before his ankle was bothering him. He really enjoyed the chicken sandwich.
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He was really into her though. He pursued her in a big way and she loved the attention. Keep reading...
More Infidelity Advice from YourTango:
- Infidelity 101: What Is An Emotional Affair?
- What Lies Beneath Emotional Infidelity?
- How to Move On From A Painful Breakup