I could build a practice on this one question. “How do we get that spark back?”
The answer is shockingly simple. Be the person you were when you had spark. It’s no secret that in the beginning of a relationship we are on our best behavior. However, a more subtle reality is that falling in love makes us feel our most alive. In that high vibration, sharply alive energy, to put it simply, it’s easy to be exciting, sexy, and engaged. Not too mention your formerly single self was doing a lot of cool and exciting things - that you may or may not do anymore.
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Fast forward a few months or years and in many cases that highly charged vibe wears off. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “We have bills, pets, kids, cars, jobs, and responsibilities up the wazoo. I am run down and drug out most of the time. I don’t have the energy to fake being ‘madly in love’ ”.
Here’s the trick. You have to get back to what turned you on before the relationship. What made you feel the most alive and engaged? What brought you the most bliss and joy. If you want to get that spark back in your marriage, you have to get that fire lit underneath yourself again. Working on your marriage never really works. You really only have yourself and your energy to play with. So, why not do just that. Play.
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You may be wondering, “But what about my spouse??? It takes two to tango. Don’t they need to do some changing too?” Maybe, maybe not. However, you stand a lot better chance of getting someone else to change by leading that band energetically then you do by begging, pleading, fighting, and nagging. If you get get yourself turned on and lit up again, chances are very, very high your beloved will follow right along, probably because they are curious about where all the fun is.
So, pull out your photo album. Find some pictures of yourself right before you met your honey and the first few weeks you were together. Who was that woman? Where did she go? I can guarantee you this. If you can find her, you are at least 90% of the way down the road back to, not just sparks, but fireworks in your marriage.