Candice and Andrew had been married four years. She reported that the first three or so had been great. However, these last few months had been rocky. They were fighting a lot and it seemed they were fighting for no particular reason. She still felt like she was married to her best friend. However, she was beginning to feel like her best friend didn’t understand her.
As Candice was explaining the situation she took some comfort in the fact that she wasn’t alone. It seemed like almost all of her friends were having issues in their relationships also. She paused for a moment to assess that situation. “Yeah, pretty much everyone except for Paula and Marc, and we hardly see them anymore anyway.”
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My grandmother used to say, “Cows hang out with cows.” At age nine that adage didn’t make a lot of sense to me. However, through the years, I’ve grown to understand that everyone hangs out with people who are similar. If you aren’t similar to your peers in the beginning, chances are you will become more and more alike as time goes on. Marriage satisfaction is no exception -- and most importantly, it’s contagious.
Happy couples spend time with other happy couples. It’s not a lot of fun to be in a conversation with six angry women when you’re the only one still madly in love with your husband. Conversely, if you are agitated with your Honey, and at lunch with four other women talking about how much they are enjoying their men, sure at first it will be irritating as hell. However, after not very long, chances are very high that happy, flirty, vibe will take hold.
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So, it’s worth some examination. If you are having some bumps in the road to marital bliss, how are your friends doing in their relationships? Are they happy, pissed, on the verge of ruin? I’m guessing where ever you are, you aren’t alone. Can you save your relationship by surrounding yourself with happily coupled friends? Who knows. However, I am quite sure you could improve your relationships by surrounding yourself with others who are in gratitude for the love in their lives.
Happy cows hang out with happy cows.