I said to a client yesterday, “For the next few days I only want you to do things that make you feel better.” As simple a concept as that was to me, it was clearly confusing to her. So, she clarified, “You mean for a week, you want me to only do things that make me feel better?” “Actually, for the rest of your life, I want you to only do things that make you feel better.” On the physical plane, in my phone call I swear you could hear crickets chirping in the background while the wheels in her brain went round and round. She was honestly completely unprepared to get that bit of homework from our session.
However, in my imagination, in the ether's angels were singing and fairies were dancing at the lovely thought of doing things that make you feel better and better, not worse and worse. For this precious woman that concept was not some kind of metaphysical mumbo jumbo. It was something she’s never considered and frankly didn’t think was possible.
However, it caught her attention in a very profound way. It was profound for her because I believe her happiness, health, and maybe even life depended on it. Dr. David Hawkins, author of Power vs. Force, says that everything and every experience either makes you weaker or stronger. When we spend our lives doing things that feel bad, the effects of that on our overall health, emotionally, spiritually, and yes, physically are very, very, serious. I realize that there are things we all feel like we “have to do” that aren’t feel good experiences. Maybe that’s really true, maybe it isn’t.
However, when the big things in our life drain us, it’s very difficult to find feel good experiences anywhere. One of the biggest things in most of our lives are the relationships choose. When you are in a relationship where the dominant vibration between you makes you feel bad, that relationship is in fact making you weaker. It’s not about anyone being right or wrong. It’s simply not healthy.
Over time, the weaker you get, the harder it is to literally have the physical energy to make changes. A few months ago I was working with a client in the throws of a very messy divorce. She called me on afternoon crying saying she’d been in the emergency room over the weekend. She was almost too sick to take care of her children and no one could figure out what was wrong with her. When I asked her how much time she’d spent around her soon to be ex in the days prior, the answer was a lot.
There was a lot of “business” to work out. Bottom line, their relationship had degraded to the point to where she was almost literally allergic to his presence. Dramatic sounding, maybe. However, absolutely true none the less. What if we lived in a world where it didn’t have to be personal? No one went to blame or shame or right and wrong. What if all we had to do was use our emotional guidance system to lead us to relationships that feel good, dare I say, all the time?