I’ve spent the better part of a week thinking about what to say regarding Arnold and Maria. I’ve been asked by just about every woman I know what I think about it. People have asked me about my thoughts partially because I spend a great number of my waking hours thinking and talking about relationships. Partially I’ve been asked because I had a marriage that ended with a husband who had multiple affairs. Mostly though, it comes up in conversation because I am a woman. When events like this happen it effects the force of all woman-kind. We all feel it. We all somehow feel wronged.
It’s clear to me though that Arnold wasn’t the only one that did a no no here. It’s not popular to point out that there was another woman involved in this situation, a woman who was close to the family, and their children. It’s easy to blame the man. It’s harder to take a look at how women treat each other. It’s also easy or maybe even gratifying to think we can stand in judgment here, but it’s not really possible. We don’t have a look inside the private lives and homes of anyone, other then our own, and even then sometimes we get blindsided.
I can’t help but feel for Maria. We all feel for her and her children. We feel for the other child involved. Although on the face of it, it’s easy to say I’ve been there, I haven’t been. All pain is unique. That said, I’ve got a pretty good clue. I’ve also got a pretty good idea that Maria Shriver was born with a strength that all of us probably possess, but as a Kennedy, she has practiced over and over again in ways most of us, by the grace of God, will never understand. She is capable, strong, graceful, and quite able to navigate this crisis.
So, my worry, if I have one, isn’t for her. It’s for all of us, the rest of the women, who are feeling the ripple in the force and might be prone to blame, judge, or even hate men, because of what this man, (and yes, another woman), did. Not to go all “Star Wars” here, but seriously, we might consider this a call to use the force to our advantage and not be driven by the collective consciousness. We could take this opportunity to join everyone involved in celebrating their strength. This isn’t a time to indulge in the ick of it, or the gossip, the anger, or the fear. It simply doesn’t serve us, as women.
Here’s a new dose of truth. Most men are awesome. Most men are equally outraged about this mess. Thankfully there are very few “other women” out there. Kids are resilient. And, this is a big AND with capital letters, if this had to happen to someone publicly, Maria Shriver, Kennedy born and bred, can make something out of it, that serves the greater good if anyone can. I believe in her and I believe that.
Here’s a quote from Maria herself. “All right. This is what I should do. I should support what you're doing.” So, as for me, I am joining her there. I am going to put my energy into supporting her strength, celebrating her accomplishments, and believing in her. I believe right now she is surely hurting, but despite that she is focusing on seeing her children healthy and happy. I support that also.