I recently saw a talk show interview with E.L. James, the author of 50 Shades of Grey. During the interview, they also featured several married couples who gushed about how the book transformed their marriages.
It caught my attention so I did some brief online research and found several testimonials from women who credit the book with saving their marriages by transforming their sex lives. So, I read it and '50 Shades' was everything I expected it to be.
More from YourTango: The Power of Self Talk
It's a book, not a miracle worker. Books don't save relationships, people do.
What strikes me about the 50 Shades phenomenon is how one person reading the book — usually the wife — affects both parties in the marriage. We tend to think that both people have to do the repairing work when something goes awry in a relationship. However, when passion is lagging, nine times out of ten, it only takes one person to get the fire burning again. Kink Up Your Sex Life '50 Shades Of Grey' Style
When you are talking about a marriage, that might sound contradictory, but it's true. Marriage might be a two-way street, but passion, happiness, and satisfaction are always inside jobs because no one else can create that passion but you. I'm A Feminist And I Love S&M
A power plant doesn't have power, it generates it. We function exactly the same way. We don't lose our passion and excitement and it hasn't been all burned out or used up It's not something some people are born with and others are not.
Passion is not something a marriage produces; we produce it. So, if passion is running low, it's because you aren't generating it. Believe it or not that has nothing to do with your partner.
More from YourTango: Is Being Gay a Choice?
The 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon proves this out over and over again. When one partner gets turned on and lit up, the whole relationship transforms. One partner is all it takes.
More 50 Shades Darker advice from YourTango: