50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

5 Rules for Great First Dates


5 Rules for Great First Dates
Surviving a first date is possible.
Tips for how to make sure your first date isn't your last date.

Dear Lisa,
I've been on a lot of first dates lately. Occasionally, I'm going on a second or third.  But to be frank, I'm beginning to feel like something is terribly wrong with me. Sometimes I can tell the date isn't exactly a hit, but even when I think we’re having a great time, I rarely hear from the guy for a follow-up date. 

I used to feel really confident. I'm not going to bother listing all my great traits here. However, I've got some.  I've got friends who think I'm fun to be around.  So, I can't figure out how I'm consistently bombing these first dates.

More from YourTango: The Enlightened Woman’s Guide to 'Having it All'

Can you help me figure out where I'm going wrong?

Houston, TX

First of all, I'd like to say, good for you, for getting out there. Dating is a courageous act. To keep doing it when you feel like you're not doing well, is down right brave! Secondly, I'd prefer not to focus on what's going wrong, because it's anyone's guess.  Without a hidden camera and a microphone at this point, we might never know.  Not to mention, you might be doing everything right, but now that you've come to expect a less than perfect result, that’s what you're getting.

Below are five first date rules. These rules can probably be modified and applied in your life generally for being very likable and attractive on dates or anywhere else. These are easy tweaks that should make dating easier, and more fun, no matter what the outcome.

1. Ease up on the expectations by playing a different game.  Ask yourself a question.  Why are you on the marketing dating right now?  Is it because you’re lonely.  Is it because your clock is ticking and you’re husband shopping?  Is it because you feel like you “should” be in a relationship?

More from YourTango: Everything Changed and I Feel Trapped

The answer to that question should be, “I’m dating because I really dig men and I’m having a blast.”  Setting the intention to date for fun, allows you to be in the present moment with a guy and enjoy his company without worrying about what will or won’t happen next.  Dating is always a numbers game.  Most people date many, many people before finding “the one”.  So, you may as well set your compass for fun and enjoy the process.  Dating for dating sake needs to be enjoyable.  If you can’t dial in on dating as a good time, you probably need to take a break for awhile. Keep reading...

More dating advice from YourTango

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Staying Dry

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

Healing your heart after divorce or loss of a spouse is worth the effort. Letting go is hard to do.

cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.


Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>