What Is A Matchmaker?

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What Is A Matchmaker?
Is your life in desperate need of a matchmaker? Start now with the basics.

Last week, when I said we were starting with the basics, I meant it! What's more basic than a definition? You may think you have an idea about what a matchmaker's job is from seeing one on TV, or from singing along to Fiddler on the Roof, but my guess is that many of you don't know much beyond that. Hopefully, I can clear up any misconceptions, give you a grasp on the scope of work a matchmaker tackles on a day to day basis, and help you figure out if working with a professional might be right for you!

By Definition:
Very simply put, a matchmaker is someone who brings two people together in the hopes of arranging a compatible long-term relationship or a marriage. While today the notion of marriage includes feelings of romance, attraction and love, this has not always been true. Throughout history, a union between a man and his wife was arranged with financial gain, societal status and/or family lineage in mind—not spiritual connection or soulful passion. Now things are a bit more complicated than that!

Modern Day Matchmakers:
It's no shock that life isn't as simple as it used to be. We no longer live in small villages where families know and are known to each other. You practically have to be a relationship expert to navigate today's dating world and yet ironically, people are left to their own devises when it comes to finding partnership.

Think about it. In other areas of our lives when we take on too much and the stress becomes overwhelming, we hire help in the form of personal organizers, trainers, shoppers, pet care providers and more. Today's matchmakers are personal trainers for your love life. They bring you together with people you would never otherwise meet and guide you through every step of the dating process to ensure the process of finding your soul mate is as fun as it is rewarding.

Why Should You Use One?
Professional matchmakers are experts in the field of helping people find love. They get to know you one-on-one, coordinate dates and guide you through the process of finding the right relationship. When you see a matchmaker on TV, you don't see everything that goes into working with the client and making the match. There is a lot of behind the scenes work, ranging from creating a database of amazing potential matches, to spending time getting to know your client through interviews and meetings, as well as coaching them through their dates and away from any previous negative dating patterns.

Because of this in depth process that you go through with a professional matchmaker, you can expect to make some kind of meaningful connection within the first three or four introductions. You can't always say the same for online dating!

A Matchmaker Provides:

  • Trust. Matchmakers make it their business to get to know you: your wants, needs and desires. It is important for them to establish trust so that you feel comfortable communicating all your wishes.  
  • Privacy. Your matchmaker will only introduce you to people you're interested in and will not release your contact information or photo to anyone without your permission. By using a matchmaker, no one—not your boss, your ex, or your family members—will know you are looking for a mate unless, of course, you tell them.  
  • Safety. No one wants to meet a perfect stranger. Your matchmaker has spoken with, met and checked the references of everyone you are introduced to. Because of this, you can explore romance without fear or worry.      
  • Personalized Service. Your matchmaker gets to know you and based on your unique personality, lifestyle, likes, dislikes and values, understands exactly who will be a suitable and rewarding match.
  • Time Saver. You don't have to spend countless hours browsing thousands of online profiles, writing dozens of introduction emails and spending the evening alone when a promising prospect doesn't show up for a date. Your matchmaker takes care of all the details for you allowing you to save your energy for the actual date.         

I truly believe that one year of working with a qualified matchmaker can be more effective than a lifetime of relationship hunting on your own. What do you think? Are you intrigued? Do you think working with a matchmaker is something that might be right for you? I would love to hear your thoughts about the role a matchmaker could play in your life, or how one has helped you to find love already.

If you have any questions, as always please reach out! You can also learn more about using a matchmaker or becoming one yourself at www.matchmakinginstitute.com, or by following @MatchSchool on twitter.

More dating tips from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Lisa Clampitt

Matchmaker

Lisa Clampitt, LMSW, CMM

President, Matchmaking Institute and VIP Life

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMSWCC, MSW
Other Articles/News by Lisa Clampitt:

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