Dating Outside of Your Age Range: True Love, or Disaster?


 Dating Outside of Your Age Range: True Love, or Disaster?
I'm answering all of your questions about controversial dating age gaps.

Recently, questions about controversial dating topics (age gaps, religious differences, monetary issues, overcoming vanity, etc.) have been popping up in my inbox. So, I thought it was about time that I address some of them.

Let’s start with age gaps. Keep in mind while you read my responses to these top 5 questions that every dating situation is different, and that these answers are general in nature. 


1. Why do younger women sometimes prefer dating older men?

It’s no secret to Patti Stanger fans that women are very attracted to a strong alpha male personality. Women seek out men who they believe are secure, successful, and confident. An older man will often fit into this category because they have had more time to establish themselves and their career. This leaves them more secure financially, and more confident in themselves as an individual than a younger man might be.

Older men have also have usually either been married, or had an experience with a long-term relationship. This experience gives them greater knowledge about the commitment involved in a successful relationship. Because they know what it takes to make it work, they can be more certain of what they are looking for in the future.

Being established, and knowing what it takes to maintain a committed relationship are two qualities that a lot of women actively look for in a mate. If it takes going older to get it, they are perfectly willing. The only red flag a younger woman should keep her eyes open for when dating an older man is if he has already had children and does not want more, but she is looking to have children. It’s best to know what both parties want from the start of the relationship so that no one is asked to compromise in the future.

2. Why do older men often go for younger women?
It’s popular for men who have recently left a very long relationship or ended a marriage to date someone younger in their next relationship. This could be because a man married too early in his life, was stunted in his 20’s, which in turn left him looking to regain the experience of a thrilling and young relationship. I have also noticed that an older man will seek out a younger woman if he doesn’t want to be with a partner who is already set in their ways, or can’t make him a priority because they are too busy with their current life.

The other major reason this dating scenario happens is if the man in question wants to have a child. They then feel they need to date women under 35 to hedge their bets on making fatherhood a reality.

3. Is it common for a man to date a woman who is older than him?
This age gap scenario is a bit less common, but happens for sure. Men with this preference tell me they enjoy older women because they don’t play as many “games”. They are more comfortable and confident with themselves, which makes them appear very attractive. Women who are older also don’t tend to be in such a rush to get married and have children because they have either already had children, or have determined that they do not want any.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Lisa Clampitt


Lisa Clampitt, LMSW, CMM

President, Matchmaking Institute and VIP Life

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LMSWCC, MSW
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