If you're feeling like something isn't right, YOU are right. Don't ignore it!
When you experience a major life transition like divorce, (this can include death, moving to a new state, or getting a new job, etc), feeling vulnerable may sound like an understatement. The shiny varnish that once held you together has been stripped away, making you seem defenseless to life’s adversities. And when that happens, you are more likely to second guess EVERY thing you do.
When you are feeling low, how many times do you let things slide, or you concede to someone who is worth standing up to? And then when you do, you feel even worse about yourself!
Well I am here to gently remind you to stop doing that! You are worth so much, you are awesome, and above all, TRUST YOUR GUT. I will say that again because it bears repeating – TRUST YOUR GUT. There have been countless times where I didn’t because I was needy, lonely, or just worn out – and my self- esteem was on the back burner. I will give you an example, albeit minor, but this memory stays with me and I kick myself to this day for not trusting my gut:
I was newly separated and dating this man who was WAY under my league – he was short (I’m 5’9), not all that good looking, arrogant, a left-winged tree hugger, and an angry atheist. But I was SO into him (yes, I know, what was I thinking?). We were at his house and I just finished making him breakfast. I was also kind enough to do the dishes and when I finished, I used some paper towels to wipe down the counter. Rather than him thanking me for cooking AND cleaning up, all he said was, “Ummmm, at my house I really try not to use paper towels. I like to let it air dry. The environment will thank you.”
Yeah, how about YOU thank me, you A-hole!
But I didn’t say that. I should have, but I didn’t it. All I said was, “okay.” I obeyed him. He made me feel angry, worthless, pathetic, and used. My gut told me to run, tell him every expletive in the F-you dictionary, but I didn’t. I was a needy wreck and if I had someone to remind me what I’m telling you today, that loser would have been toast long before we actually broke up.
If you have someone yanking your chain either romantically, professionally, or personally (your kids, friends, family), trust your gut that you are not supposed to tolerate it. You are allowed to feel sad and to be in a funky place right now, but THEY aren’t allowed to mistreat you.
Your gut is God, the Universe, and your soul all routing for you – don’t ignore them when you need them the most! You are a loved person by so many people, but don’t forget that you need to love YOU. Your gut tells you so!
Now… I’m going to go clean my kitchen counters now. With all the paper towels and toxic, bad-for-you cleaning agents that I want.