Your need to always be right will destroy your relationships faster than a forest fire.
I'm often amazed at the amount of energy people use when they try to use effective communication to express that they MUST be right, especially when it all boils down to each person's belief around the subject they're discussing.
A few days ago I was standing in a long line at the post office and the conversation between the two women behind me had me smiling inside, because I always get a kick out of people when they're in a heated debate about their beliefs, especially in a public setting.
They were discussing a political situation, and what intrigued me most was how they went from a friendly, casual conversation of sharing their opinions, to one of hostility with raised voices trying to be disguised as whispers. It didn't work.
Each woman was determined to prove the other wrong. It got to the point where the customers and clerks were watching them in amazement. When the women noticed this, they cut the conversation off looking rather embarrassed. Personally, I was sorry to see it come to an end since it was a great distraction from noticing how slow the long line was moving.
This entertaining moment got me thinking how often we feel the need to be right no matter what the circumstances or even the consequences, sometimes. Our egos can become so enmeshed in our beliefs that it can feel like we're defending our life, leaving us unable to absorb or consider what the other person is saying. The amount of emotional energy that is exerted can be enormous and it can turn a good day into a rotten day, all in the name of being right.
The truth is, we are all human beings viewing the world through our own filter systems and because of that there are, and always will be, varying degrees of beliefs and opinions. Depending how far apart we are from each other with our personal beliefs will often determine how easily we allow our feathers to get ruffled when someone doesn't see things the way we do.
What I'm noticing in my own life, is the more I let go of needing to be right, the more inner peace and freedom I feel. What often happens is others are more open to hear my thoughts and I theirs, enabling us to learn something from each other. My relationships, new and old, are enriched and create room for us to grow closer and treat each other with greater respect.
Why not make the effort to observe your interactions with people and see when, and under what circumstances, you find yourself needing to be right? Do you become aggravated enough that a fight develops? Do you ever get so fed up that you walk away and eventually retell the situation to someone else so that person agrees with you, proving in your mind, that you were right? You'd be amazed how often this happens without being consciously aware of doing it.
When the next opportunity presents itself, be willing to not have to be right and see what happens. Allow people to have their say and consider it an interesting perspective, instead of one that is wrong. You could even go so far as to let them know it's an interesting way to see the situation and then tell them you never thought of it that way.
You see, it just doesn't matter that you don't agree with what they're expressing. They have a right to their opinion just as much as you do. Letting go of the need to be right can truly transform your relationships and bring you a great deal of inner peace. Play with it. Test the waters and see what unfolds for you and all the relationships you encounter in your life.
Linda Salazar, founder of Your Heart Is In Your Hands, is a Relationship Coach, author, speaker and media personality working with smart, proactive, spiritually open women who are ready for remarkable relationships. Experiencing heartbreak? Struggling to find a relationship that makes your heart sing? Download Linda's free report to discover your innate relationship style. Contact Linda here.