Are you guilty of any of these?
We search for love... We long for love... We find love... But, why is it so hard to keep?
There are 8 very common things that we have all been guilty of in some way, shape or form when it comes to relationships that makes it so hard to keep:
1. You stop making eye contact
Eye contact is intimate. Intimacy in the bedroom starts with intimate contact throughout the day, so make sure you are looking at another. Eye contact is important when speaking together, giving each other a random look... let your eyes lock for a moment. It can be a wonderful connective moment.
2. You stop touching
Remember that when we touch the one we love, the hormone oxytocin is produced. This is one powerful drug. Talking stimulates the brain and touching stimulates everything else.
3. You assume you know your partner
Everyone changes overtime. Assuming that you know everything is impossible. We are all individuals with individual thoughts, perceptions and certainly emotional experiences. So, ask questions.
4. You look back on past pain
This is like poison in any relationship. It is absolutely, 100% non-negotiable, if you have any chance of keeping the love you searched for, wrap up any past pain from a previous heartbreak. Feel that pain, wrap it up and pitch it. You cannot positive your way out of emotional pain, or ignore it. Pain needs and wants to be processed.
5. You emotionally protect yourself
It's odd to search for that relationship, to find that love and then keep one foot out of the relationship to protect yourself from getting hurt. You won't get anywhere in love by holding back. Falling in love is just that, freely falling. If you are not ready to fall... then you are not ready for love.
6. You can't forget the past
Remaining in the present is an absolute must! Have a relationship with the person you are with now, not the one that you met. Not the one who spent time courting you, woo’ing you, doting on you. Always stay present to how they are in the current moment. Not who you want them to be!
7. You're complacent
It becomes easy to fall into complacency when we are not feeling mentally challenged or aware of any need to be on our toes. There is a certain comfort in complacency, but we do not want to live there.
Never take for granted that you have someone forever, and forgetting to turn the charm and attention towards each other. This fosters feelings of complacency, boredom and being taken for granted. It takes two to tango, so don't drop your partners’ hand and expect them to keep dancing for you.
8. You overthink EVERYTHING.
Over thinking and over analyzing someone’s every word, move, or intention kills any chance at intimacy or connection. It brings out the worst in you.
Trust and respect are two cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Take what they say at face value and stay present. If you've been hurt by your current love and expecting them to hurt you again, pretty much guarantees that they will, because you are hypersensitive instead of relaxed and present.
We see what we expect to see!
Now, no one is perfect. These points are things to look at, consider and aim towards. If you are feeling any of the above communicating with your partner is the best decision you could make for yourself and them.