Breaking up is hard, but it's also a great time for learning!
So, your relationship ended. Your life has dramatically changed and it's hard not to think of all you've lost in the process. However, a break-up presents a unique and awesome opportunity for learning! You get to start over, take stock of your life and get rid of what isn't working for you.
The following are three great lessons to learn from a break-up!
1. Focus on the stars, not the mud.
When you are going through the break-up of a marriage or relationship, it's hard not to feel stuck in the mud. There is just so much mud everywhere that it may become extremely overwhelming. But eventually, you can choose to look up and see those stars. Their constant light gives hope and can inspire you to get out of the mud. Even if those stars are just faintly twinkling for you, they will get brighter if you choose to focus on them!
2. The only path to healing is straight through!
It is so tempting to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and force yourself forward, to get better as fast as you can. Or, sometimes we find ways to distract or hide the pain from ourselves. However, pain doesn't go away and healing doesn't happen just because you want it to! The only path is straight through. Dig deep into your strength and deal with your stuff, so you can heal fully and properly. And please, be gentle with yourself as you heal!
3. Get comfortable being "self-full."
At first, being alone can seem scary and empty; however, if you allow yourself to be alone, you may find that you are great company! Try spending a weekend alone. Take yourself out to dinner or to a movie and get comfortable with your thoughts. This isn't about being selfish, it's about being self-full! Seize the opportunity to focus on yourself and your needs while you are on your own. You might learn a lot about what you need and want in a relationship, which can translate into a healthy relationship in the future!
More breakup advice on YourTango:
- How To (Finally) Get Over Your Breakup And Move On
- How To Get Over A Bad Breakup
- Help! My Last Breakup Scarred Me For Life