Single On New Year's? New Tradition Beats Resolutions
By Life Coach Kelly Rudolph. Posted on .
Being single on New Years Eve inspires most women to seek company (even if it's bad) to avoid being alone. The thought of beginning another year single is almost overwhelming and inspires despair, anxiety, desperation, fear and depression. Even if a less than desirable relationship ended during the year and you are better off for it, there is still a stigma to being single on New Year's Eve.
A simple perspective shift and game plan can make your single New Year’s Eve the most clarifying and powerful of your life, if you are ready and willing to step away from what others think you should be doing on this special evening.
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As a woman who hated sticking out like a sore thumb (and feel as though that describes most of my life), each year I stressed and sweated in the months leading up to New Year’s Eve to find something festive to do with fun people in order to fit in and avoid seeing myself as tragic.
I usually ended up at a party in uncomfortable shoes and a dress I couldn’t afford, with people I didn’t really like, feeling obligated to drink alcohol and encouraged to hook-up with some random guy to avoid waking up alone. I never drank too much or hooked up with anyone but the pressure was there and uncomfortable at best. Fitting in was not where I felt happy or strong.
Disclaimer: While I realize there are many great, fun and even healthy parties with good friends, family and or significant others, the situation I describe is all too common for single women who want to avoid being alone on the biggest party night of the year.
My awakening came one New Year’s Even having moved to a new city and not making plans, instead deciding to review some of my journals. I’ve been journaling nightly since the age of 12 and I wanted to read how I felt emotionally at the beginning of each New Year.
I saw that I had begun each New Year frustrated, unfulfilled, dreading another year and sad to still be single or in a bad relationship. The New Year’s Eve parties hadn’t been inspiring, motivating, fulfilling, positive experiences or emotionally healthy for that matter and I had to take a very real look at who I was and who I wanted to become.
Something needed to change.
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As I listed the most important areas of my life, I noticed there was a huge disconnect between who I really was and the effort I was making to fit in with everyone else. I noted where I wanted improvement and set out to make that New Year’s Eve my best ever! It has since become a tradition for me and many other positive women friends I've shared it with.
The first half of my PWRful New Year Playsheet consists of my year-end review. Here I write down all of the things I’ve learned in the previous twelve months. There are: friends I’ve made; relationships I’ve learned from; personal growth that made me a stronger, more confident woman; and spiritual growth that has clarified my true beliefs and strengthened my inner power.
