to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Failure To Recognize Our True Value Gives Our Power Away

By . Posted on .

Failure To Recognize Our True Value Gives Our Power Away
Learn who and what you really are instead of allowing others to dertermine your value.

As women, our true value is what we feel we have to contribute to the world and plays a vital role in our lives. When we feel valuable, we lead happy, healthy lives whereas when we're searching for our value we spend our lives seeking approval from others.

3 Reasons We Fail To Recognize Our True Value:

  1. Looking to others to determine what we are worth
  2. Basing our value on how we look compared to airbrushed magazine models and starving runway models
  3. Lack of female role models who recognize their own true value

There are several other reasons but these three are very common.

Recognizing Our True Value is an Inside Job - The value we place on ourselves comes from within, not from others. As a woman, it is a vital ingredient of our inner power. When we don't recognize our true value, we give away our power by looking to others for approval and for them to tell us what we're worth.

Seeking Our Value Through Others Is Painful and Disastrous

Real-Life Example 1 - Attending a new business group for the first time, I felt valuable, appreciated and wonderful about myself and knew this was a group I wanted to join because every member graciously introduced themselves to me and shook my hand before breakfast. Then I learned there is a $5 fine for anyone who doesn't welcome a guest on their first visit. They weren't interested in me; they were interested in avoiding a fine!

I instantly felt tricked and used to avoid a fine. I didn't feel good about the group anymore either and that is sad because some of the members may have been authentic in their greetings but now there was a cloud hanging over the entire group and their value, in my eyes, went down.

Real-Life Example 2 - An acquaintance always wrote, "You're Awesome," at the bottom of his emails to me. He also said it before we ended a phone call. I felt supported and valuable to him... until I realized the email signature was embedded and he told everyone the same thing when they talked on the phone!

I didn't feel valued by him any longer as this habit of his removed the authenticity I thought I saw in him.

These two scenarios are important because you can see that not only did my value for myself diminish but the value I placed on the others did as well.

How to Begin Recognizing Your True Value

More from YourTango: Why You Shouldn't Ditch Your Friends For A Guy

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Life Coach Kelly Rudolph

Life Coach

Kelly Rudolph
Certified Life Coach | CEO at PositiveWomenRock | Speaker/Presenter

Coach Kelly Rudolph walks her talk and implements her own personal growth plan on a dialy basis, translating into greater understanding, experience and strategies for her coaching clients.

Her personal story is one of tragedy-to-triumph. Learn more at: PositiveWomenRock.com

Join Kelly on her Positive Women Rock Facebook page Get her Free weekly Positive Woman Tip, ebook and audio book.
 

Location: La Jolla, CA
Credentials: ACC
Specialties: Life Management, Life Transitions, Stress Management
Other Articles/News by Life Coach Kelly Rudolph:

Why You Shouldn't Ditch Your Friends For A Guy

By

Have you ever had a girl friend who completely forgot about you as soon as she got into a relationship ... until they had their first big fight, that is? Quality friends stand out from the crowd. They value one another and treat their friendships with the utmost respect, rather than getting jealous and catty when one of them gets a guy. Once you begin ... Read more

Is Insecurity In Women Increased By Movies & TV?

By

Let's take a look and determine if some of your favorites are doing you more harm than their escape from reality provides in benefits. I've been surprised lately that so many movies and TV shows are violence, betrayal and fear-based. Unfortunately, that's what sells so it also says a lot about our society, beliefs and stress levels. Even ... Read more

5 Tips For Quality Conversations & Lasting Friendships

By

Have you ever looked forward to a chick-chat with a friend or been excited to open an email from a gal pal you look forward to hearing from only to get dumped on as if you are a garbage can for their troubles and complaints? A good friend conversation whether face-to-face, phone or email should leave you feeling positive, happy and supported as opposed to many ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Beach Body

The Link Between Sex and Health

There are numerous proven links between sex and health.

Smooch

What Does Question # 1 From Our Dating Poll say about YOU?

Ten questions were asked to a variety of couples to find out it their relationship will last.

Leaving

How To Feng Shui Decor Your New House After Divorce

It may be easier moving to a house with new energy than to stay in the old one with negative energy

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS