In February 2006 my life changed forever. My husband of two years, the man I had been with since I was a teenager, left me for another woman he’d been having an affair with. About a month after he left, I found out they were expecting a baby together... talk about the worst thing ever.
I was heartbroken, devastated and didn’t know how I would get through each day with the pain, let alone the rest of my life. I could see the uncomfortableness on people’s faces, as they just didn’t know what to say in order to help. Honestly, I wouldn’t have known what to say to me either.
Heartbreak is one of those things that most of us have encountered at one time or another. There’s no other way to say it: it sucks every time. The pain is multi-layered and can eat away at us slowly over time. When it happened to me, I had no tools to deal with it; I was lost and found myself turning to unhealthy behaviors to desperately try to make myself feel better.
Recently, as I was going through some old files of mine, I came across a folder where I kept some things that helped me get through that hellish break up. Here’s a list of what I did, hopefully some of them can help you heal your own broken heart.
1. Notes and signs to myself. I wrote things like, "You’ll get through this", "This too shall pass" and "If you’re going through hell, keep going". They were simple, not to cheerelader-y and I put them in places I would see them throughout the day. Some days I smirked at them, but most days they helped, little by little.
2. Checked off days on my calendar and filled my schedule. They say, "Time heals all wounds". Personally, I wanted to punch everyone in the face that told me this, but every day I took a Sharpie and put a big black line through the day on my paper calendar. Seeing the days go by with all those black marks was a reminder of how far away I had gotten from the event that broke my heart.
3. Took notes from self-help books/blogs/etc. I made a conscious effort to listen to people who had been where I was and had healed. I asked how they did it, carefully noted their answers and read them often. Some of the really great things I heard I added to the notes I wrote to myself and put them up in my apartment.
4. Consciously chose to surround myself with people who had what I wanted. I chose to be around people that were positive and encouraging, not people that would let me sink down into my own self-pity and self-loathing.
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