How To Tell (Without A DOUBT!) Your Relationship Is RIGHT For You

Photo: WeHeartIt
Couple on the beach

Is this one going to work out, or are you doomed to fail?

I hear the question "Is he/she the right one for me?" ALL the time, and now — when there are more single people than there have ever been and there is more betrayal than ever — people have a hard time trusting that they will pick the right person to love.

Here are nine ways to know if you're in the RIGHT kind of relationship:


1. The thought of commitment doesn't scare the hell out of you.

If you aren't afraid to commit show your vulnerability to the person your with (and you know they feel the same way), you may have something really good brewing. If you're fearing commitment, it's best to work that out BEFORE starting a relationship.

2. You don't snoop through their personal things.

If you trust your partner, you wouldn't be looking through their things. Going through their email, phone, Facebook account or journals strongly indicates you're lack of trust. Plus, it's also killing their ability to trust you in return. If you find yourself doing this, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation.

3. You consider yourself equal to your partner.

Make sure you're feeling like you're on equal ground with them. You know that matters to you in a mate — morally, intellectually, financially, socially or professionally — and if you're not satisfied with what they bring to the table, it's time to re-think.

4. You don't let ANY substance (alcohol, drugs, etc.) get in between the both of you.

Anyone abusing a substance or behavior is cheating on you with his or her drug of choice. If you're in this situation, you deserve more (or if it's you, THEY deserve more). Ensure you're dedicated to them — mind, body, soul.

5. You're not depending on each other in an unhealthy way.

If you're looking for your partner to resolve your emotional issues, make your more responsible or successful, support you financially, expand your group of friends or family, then it's possible you shouldn't be in a relationship, or at least not yet. A healthy relationship consists of two individuals bringing equal things to the table.

6. You're ready to put it all on the line.

If you're not risking having your heart broken, you're not doing it right. If you find that you're ready to give ALL of yourself to them, you may be ready to take things to the next level.

7. You talk about EVERYTHING.

All the things you're not supposed to talk about on a first date — religion, money, politics and children — are the things you should be discussing with someone you're serious about. So make sure you're comfortable discussing things on ALL levels.

8. You go out of your way to do something deeply, unapologetically romantic.

You send the flowers, request the song, write the note and have the bracelet engraved. You call your partner and tell them that specific thing they did this morning that you loved, and this made you fall more in love. If you're constantly showing them how much you REALLY care, then you know you're in the right place.

9. You're honest with each other.

You know you can't hide your flaws for long, so don't try. You know that you're going to mess up and that you will need to apologize and forgive — an ENDLESS number of times. Recognize that you signed up for all of this, and that you're ready to dedicate yourself to this relationship.

Listen to this short video about how honesty plays a vital role in a healthy, successful relationship:


We all want to be in a relationship — it's part of being a human being. Some who've been hurt in the past are scared of making another mistake, but remember that many relationships go through highs and lows. It's learning how to get through the difficult times that will strengthen your bond.


Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. For more help please visit her website.


This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.


Explore YourTango