She may be wife material, but is she mom material?
Not all fellows like to talk about the future, but after being with their girlfriend for a certain amount of time, you can almost guarantee that they've been thinking about it. If a woman is quite obviously not marriage material, a mature man — one that's looking to settle down — may leave her early on or as soon as he notices her less desirable qualities. However, it can sometimes take more time or thought to determine whether or not a woman is going to be a good mother.
If you're interested in having children with the woman you love, but are hesitant to do so until you have a better understanding of the type of mother she would make, consider the following:
- Does she exhibit any interest in kids? Typically, women who genuinely are interested in children before they have their own tend to make fun moms.
- Do kids actually show any interest in her? Your girlfriend may find mothering discouraging if children find it hard to relate to her, as this can lead to a lessened bond between she and her children over time.
- Does she show patience, maturity, and compassion to the children in her life? Unfortunately, a mere interest in children isn't enough though. If a woman is to be a good mother, she must show patience, maturity, and compassion. These are the things that will help keep her level headed when she's exhausted, when the 2-year-old smears play dough in the carpet, and when an infant won't stop screaming because it's just as tired as she is, but refuses to close its eyes!
- Are her ideas about parenting the same as yours? It's okay if your philosophies vary just a little bit, but if she's into spanking and you're absolutely horrified by it, that could be a major source of tension in your relationship later on. The two of you need to be able to compromise when it comes to deciding the best way to discipline your child!
- Does she have firm values? It's great that your girlfriend is fun, but if she never shows any sign of having strong morals or values this might negatively impact her mothering abilities. Mothers need to be caring and nurturing, but it's also important for them to instill discipline and ambition in their children so that they will grow up to be well-functioning members of society.
- Is she flexible? A good mother's values need to be firm, but her plans can't always be. Simply put, kids get sick!
Of course, this isn't a perfect list of all of the qualities that a wonderful mother should have; it's really just the bare minimum. It's important to remember that good mothers are very vibrant, versatile, and varied women overall and that many women do not begin to exhibit much of a nurturing side until they actually give birth and have children of their own. However, flexibility, firm values, patience, compatible parenting philosophies, and a genuine interest in children are all good indicators that your girlfriend just may be a magical mother in the making.