It seems the more I listen to people in and out of my therapy practice, the more I realize that for many of us, achieving a healthy love relationship is often fraught with much difficulty.
Obviously, there are multitudes of reasons why people may have difficulty forming healthy long term relationships and I should certainly know, having had my share of "roller-coaster rides" but having ADHD often adds to the difficulty in very distinct ways. This article explores some of those difficulties as they apply to love, romance and ADHD.
Recently I had a conversation with a client who has a long history of unsuccessful romantic relationships. She's a beautiful young woman who has had a variety of passionate relationships which, for some reason never "work out." Over our past few sessions we have explored this pattern, only to discover the men she most cared for were exciting, handsome and dreamy but somehow not very supportive or emotionally available.
On the other hand, she had a variety of long term relationships with men who she referred to as her closest friends. She told me these men have been there for her for many years and were all extremely supportive and solid in her life. In fact, her best friend, is a man she has known for the past 10 years. This man has provided her with a rich friendship that includes trust, shared values, affection, loyalty and great fun. When I asked her why she had never dated him, she said that he was not her type. "So, what exactly is your type?" I asked.
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