Melissa: Every person has to make this decision for him or herself. In my opinion, you give up when one of two things becomes obvious – a.) when even after a long time it becomes fully clear that either partner is dead set on remaining in denial about what’s going on and therefore won’t participate in the hard work of changing the dynamics or b.) the couple has changed the dynamics, gotten both ADHD and responses to ADHD out of the way, and realized that they have something else all together that makes them incompatible. In general, I think there are a whole lot more reasons to stay together than to give up, but I’m not a big believer that you should stay in a marriage which is clearly hurting you over the long run. Everyone deserves to live in a respectful, healthy relationship. My work points the way for many couples to find that…but not all.
Leslie: Thanks again, Melissa, for your valuable time and insights.
For more articles and help with these kinds of issues, please visit my blog at http://addadults.net/blog.