28 Dos & Don'ts Of Divorced Parenting

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28 Dos & Don'ts Of Divorced Parenting [EXPERT]
How to be the best parent possible during one of the most challenging experiences ever.

6. DO answer the questions they ask you truthfully, to the extent that it is appropriate and in a way that is age appropriate. Only answer their question, do not go into a long explanation. Also, do not share information that is inappropriate for your child to know or that unnecessarily criticizes your ex. How To Get A Good Divorce

7. DO reassure your child that you are fine when they are not with you and that you can't wait to see them when they return.

 

8. DO have clear, consistent and reasonable expectations and discipline methods. Providing as much continuity between homes, in regards to discipline, will benefit your child greatly. Ideally, you and your ex will discuss this and carry over discipline from one house to the other.

9. DO reassure your children that the both of you love them, regardless of any negative feelings you have toward each other.

10. DO reflect their feelings when they share things with you. Focus on the feeling behind what they are saying, rather then the content. For example, if your children tell you that they are mad at your ex because he didn't have anything fun planned for them during their time together.

Rather than probing to get information or discounting their feelings, say "It sounds like you feel disappointed with the time you spent with your dad this weekend."

This prevents you from taking sides, but communicates that you understand what your children are telling you and what they are feeling. Encourage them to discuss their feelings with your ex.

11. DO reflect your child's feelings when they misbehave. Say, "I can see you are very angry right now, but it is not okay for you to yell at me and act disrespectfully. Would you like to talk about why you are so angry?"

12. DO provide opportunities for your children to share their feelings and know that you are not going to take it personally or use it as a weapon against them.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Leslie Petruk

Marriage and Family Therapist

Leslie Petruk is a Child & Family Therapist

Location: Charlotte, NC
Credentials: BCC, LPC, MA, NCC
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