6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce

By Leslie Petruk. Posted on Oct 22nd 2012.

Is your marriage on the fast track to divorce? Find out!

6. Bad memories. Couples who get stuck viewing their relationship through a negative lens end up rewriting history that is often distorted. This extreme negative outlook impacts the historical, present and future perception of the relationship and contributes to the demise of a marriage.

Dick Schwartz, another leading Marriage and Family Therapist, and Founder of the Center For Self Leadership and Internal Family Systems, writes in his book You Are The One You've Been Waiting For that marriage is often a set-up for failure from the start because of the expectation that your mate will be your "redeemer" and fulfill all your unmet needs. This expectation will inevitably result in disappointment and discord.

No partner can fulfill and redeem another. One must first learn how to lead from the self so he/she is able to connect with his/her own natural ability for caring, compassion and courage. By identifying and working with your own hurting parts, learning their story and the emotions and beliefs they hold, you are able to connect with your self and become more "self-lead."

The ability to be in "self leadership" will allow you to avoid the expectation of your partner to fulfill your unmet needs and therefore remove the constant let down you experience when your partner doesn't. In turn, this will set the stage for resolving conflict in such a way that each partner feels heard and understood.

Find an expert!

Article contributed by

View profile

Advanced Member

Leslie Petruk

Location: Charlotte, NC

Credentials: BCC, LPC, MA, NCC

Website: http://www.steppingstonesnc.com

What The Country Can Learn From the Connecticut School Shooting

By Leslie Petruk

Our nation as a whole tends to stigmatize and minimize the reality and the extent of the impact of mental health issues on our country. Mental health is always on the top of the list when budgets are slashed on local, state, and national levels. Insurance companies are making excessive profits at the expense of families ability to afford ... Read more

How to Talk to Your Child About the Newtown School Shooting

By Leslie Petruk

It's unthinkable that when you send your child off to school you would ever receieve a call such as those parents in Newtown, CT did on December 14th. It's a parents worst nighmare. My heart aches for those families, as I know everyone's does. As a parent or one who works with children, you may face difficult questions. It is ... Read more

Guilt Free Parenting: 8 ways to avoid the guilt trap

By Leslie Petruk

We've all experienced it...the dreaded parenting guilt. You blame yourself whenever you see your child fail or if they are unhappy or struggling. You beat yourself up after you lose your cool when your child misbehaves, you wonder how you have failed your child when they come home with a bad test grade, and you are sure iti is your fault that ... Read more