ProConnect

6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce

By

6 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce [EXPERT]
Divorce ahead?
Is your marriage on the fast track to divorce? Find out!

6. Bad memories. Couples who get stuck viewing their relationship through a negative lens end up rewriting history that is often distorted. This extreme negative outlook impacts the historical, present and future perception of the relationship and contributes to the demise of a marriage.

Dick Schwartz, another leading Marriage and Family Therapist, and Founder of the Center For Self Leadership and Internal Family Systems, writes in his book You Are The One You've Been Waiting For that marriage is often a set-up for failure from the start because of the expectation that your mate will be your "redeemer" and fulfill all your unmet needs. This expectation will inevitably result in disappointment and discord. 

More from YourTango: Guilt Free Parenting: 8 ways to avoid the guilt trap

No partner can fulfill and redeem another. One must first learn how to lead from the self so he/she is able to connect with his/her own natural ability for caring, compassion and courage. By identifying and working with your own hurting parts, learning their story and the emotions and beliefs they hold, you are able to connect with your self and become more "self-lead." 

More from YourTango: What If The Teacher Is The Bully?

The ability to be in "self leadership" will allow you to avoid the expectation of your partner to fulfill your unmet needs and therefore remove the constant let down you experience when your partner doesn't. In turn, this will set the stage for resolving conflict in such a way that each partner feels heard and understood.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Leslie Petruk

Marriage and Family Therapist

Leslie Petruk is a Child & Family Therapist

Location: Charlotte, NC
Credentials: BCC, LPC, MA, NCC
Other Articles/News by Leslie Petruk:

What The Country Can Learn From the Connecticut School Shooting

By

Our nation as a whole tends to stigmatize and minimize the reality and the extent of the impact of mental health issues on our country.  Mental health is always on the top of the list when budgets are slashed on local, state, and national levels.  Insurance companies are making excessive profits at the expense of families ability to afford ... Read more

How to Talk to Your Child About the Newtown School Shooting

By

It's unthinkable that when you send your child off to school you would ever receieve a call such as those parents in Newtown, CT did on December 14th.  It's a parents worst nighmare.  My heart aches for those families, as I know everyone's does.  As a parent or one who works with children, you may face difficult questions.  It is ... Read more

Guilt Free Parenting: 8 ways to avoid the guilt trap

By

We've all experienced it...the dreaded parenting guilt.  You blame yourself whenever you see your child fail or if they are unhappy or struggling.  You beat yourself up after you lose your cool when your child misbehaves, you wonder how you have failed your child when they come home with a bad test grade, and you are sure iti is your fault that ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooches

The Least & Most Open-Minded Cities In Online Dating

Wondering if your city is open-minded when it comes to online dating? Check out this data from Zoosk

Faith

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS