1. The Ceramic Squirrel Incident. In December of 2013, a South Carolina woman named Helen Williams went totally bat shit on her husband when he didn't come home from the store with beer. Doing what I'm pretty sure any of us would do in the same situation, she reached for her trusty ceramic squirrel and proceeded to stab her main squeeze with it. When authorities showed up, Helen told them that her husband fell and cut himself all while being covered in blood herself. Not only is Helen a ceramic squirrel-wielding beer fiend, but a horrible liar too.
2. The "Dog Got Served Before Me" Incident. When his wife dared to give the family dog water before serving his dinner, New Jersey man Darryl Camp went after her with a machete ... along with a figurine from the fish tank. But before we peg Camp as some sort of abusive loon, we need to take a step back and realize he was just protecting himself from his wife — who, according to Camp's attorney, once tried to run him over with a car.
3. The Cheez-Its Incident. In April 2012 after enjoying a delightful "Earth Day" concert, a Florida woman returned home to her menacing husband, Andy Gatz, who wasn't in the best of moods. For reasons that were not entirely clear, Gatz became enraged that his wife had gone to the concert so he hurled a box of Cheez-Its at her.
4. The McChicken Incident. When a 911 dispatcher in Des Moines, Iowa took a call from a pregnant woman, the dispatcher probably couldn't have guessed what they would hear next. What did the pregnant woman have to say for herself? Oh, just that her husband, Marvin Tramaine Hill II, had thrown a McChicken sandwich at her not once, but twice then proceeded to rub the bun on her face.
5. The Weekly Attack Incident. Having suffered at the hands of his abusive wife for years, a Chinese man decided to take control of his abuse and allow his wife to attack him once a week. Mr. Zhang admitted to a local Chinese paper that he fell in love with his wife because of her "strong and independent temperament," so he sort of knew what he was getting into when he decided to marry the woman, don't you think?
6. The Fifty Shades of Grey Incident. If you think back to 2012 really hard, you'll probably be able to recall that that was the year that Fifty Shades of Grey came out. You couldn't go anywhere without people talking about the book and suddenly you found yourself in awkward conversations with your mom, because yes, everyone and their mother was actually reading it.
8. The Facebook Photo Incident. When a Claxton, Tennessee resident, Lowell Turpin, noticed that his girlfriend had posted a photo of a man he did not know on Facebook, he had a bit of a breakdown. First he demanded to know who the man was, then he threw her computer at the wall and punched her face.
9. The "White Day" Incident. Just last month, on March 14th to be exact, a Japanese woman was arrested for trying to kill her husband because he didn't give her a gift on "White Day." By Japanese tradition, it's the women who give gifts on Valentine's Day; then a month later it's the man's turn to give their loved ones a little something special.
10. The Hat Incident. After her husband refused to buy a hat for her in Nashville, one fine September day, Sommer Trent lost her cool and attacked the man. They were outside Jimmy Buffett's in Margaritaville when Trent took her husband's cowboy hat from his head, hurled it into the street, then viciously grabbed him by the throat in front of horrified onlookers. Trent was arrested and booked and we're guessing she never got that hat she wanted so badly.
Lesli writes about issues related to marriage and relationships at afearlessmarriage.com. She is the author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After with More Intention, Less Work, a manual for couples on how to have a long and successful marriage. Lesli also speaks passionately on many relationship-related topics.
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