How To Fix A Relationship

By

How To Fix A Relationship
It's often possible to fix a relationship but the solution that works may not be what you think.

It's also important to work on things you already know about yourself. Do you have a bad temper? Are you stubborn? Do you use harsh language or act in unkind ways? Are you willing to make room in your life for your partner or does everything have to be your way? What keeps you from bringing your best self to the relationship? It's not okay to say, "That's just the way I am," if you want to be in a healthy relationship.

I know, you're saying, "But, what about them?" I get it. But when you do something different, especially something they have been asking for, you provide an opportunity for the relationship to change for the better. When you put something different out there, they can't respond in the same old way. They may try to push you back to the old behavior or they may not trust your new attitude but, if you keep your new stance, eventually they will have to respond differently. Where most of us fail is either not being clear about our new position or not sticking with it long enoughfor real change to occur.

Change is anxiety provoking. It takes you out of your comfort zone. And, in reality, you might do all of these things and the relationship still isn't the way you want it. In that case, you need to ask if you are getting enough from it to let go of what you're not getting. No relationship will perfectly match all your expectations but it shouldn't leave you miserable either. Being the best partner and person you can be is all you can do. Hopefully, that will be enough. If it's not, the best way to fix this relationship is to let it go.

For questions about your relationship, ask me today.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lesli Doares

Relationship Coach

Lesli Doares, MFT

Lesli writes about issues related to marriage and relationships at afearlessmarriage.com.  She is the author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage:  How to Create Your Happily Ever After with More Intention, Less Work, a manual for couples on how to have a long and successful marriage.  Lesli also speaks passionately on many relationship-related topics.

Location: Cary, NC
Credentials: LMFT
Other Articles/News by Lesli Doares:

Why I Didn't Realize My Relationship Was Emotionally Abusive

By

Never is there physical abuse without emotional abuse, but unfortunately the reverse isn't always true. During my first job as a therapist with a domestic violence organization, more than one of my clients said that they actually prefer the physical violence to the emotional violence, because at least physical bruises heal. Of course, it is more difficult ... Read more

What Can The Future Mrs. Clooney Teach Us About Marriage?

By

There are two stories in the news these days that say a lot about relationships and women's role in them. The first is the big news that perennial bachelor George Clooney is engaged. Now, engaged is not married, so he is still a bachelor and anything can happen. But it has raised the question, why her? Why now? What does she have that all his other former ... Read more

What You Need To Know About Open Marriages

By

I have always taken the position that marriage is for grown-ups. It takes a lot of maturity to successfully navigate all the changes involved in building a life with someone who has an equal say in what that life looks like. Having to take someone else's wants, needs and desires into account when you are used to only thinking about yourself is, in my ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB