6. After divorce everyone gets along better. If you are the healthiest and most grounded person in the world, then this could be true. But, most of us are not. Just because you are no longer married does not mean the fighting stops. It is just a different type of fighting; the key is that since you are no longer married, you no longer have to engage in those fights.
7. Your ex will be happier when they find someone else. Bitter ex spouses are bitter until the end. Do not live under the false illusion that because your ex has remarried or repartnered that they will turn around and make your life better. It is not realistic to assume that happiness erases bad feelings. It doesn’t. In fact, it can breed more resentment, as that ex couldn’t find the happiness with you, so they get even angrier.
8. Your couple friends will take sides. Oftentimes what happens when you first separate and delve into divorce, is that your friends that are still married take sides. But, as the divorce process drags on, generally those friends lose interest in both people. Don’t think that your ex gets the friends, because usually no one gets the friends by the time your divorce is done and you both have to start over fresh.
9. The only one that wins in a divorce is the attorney. It is true that attorneys make a lot of money from divorces, especially if they drag on, but if you hire a good attorney that you trust, they will look out for your best interests both emotionally and financially. Also, with the growing rise in collaborative divorces and successful mediations, the attorney does not walk away with all the money in the joint accounts. But, remember, a good attorney is worth their weight in gold when you have a litigious divorce.
10. The kids will be better off. The kids are never better off living in a single parent household, and being sent back and forth from one home to the other, unless there was abuse going on. Chances are, your children will need therapy and will have several rough patches regarding this new situation over several different periods in their lives. Be prepared to talk to them, love them and let them know it is not their fault.