Divorce is full of myths and legends. There are myths and legends regarding statistics of divorce and how others see people who are divorced. The myths and legends that I am talking about are not the ones that are propagated by others, but feelings that many divorcees have themselves. Dispelling the myths of divorce is not easy, and trying to do so can be a lesson in futility, but let’s give it a try.
1. Divorce is the easy way out. Divorce is NEVER the easy way out. In fact, it takes more courage to leave a bad or abusive marriage than it does to stay in a situation that is miserable. I am not encouraging divorce, but, if you are not happy in your marriage and decide to go out on your own, believe me, it will be the most difficult path you can take.
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2. Divorce is a dirty word. Considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce, you would think by now that our society would be more forgiving of divorce, as well as more accepting. Divorce is not a dirty word or a disease. It is a place that you are in after you have been married and decide that marriage was not the best marriage for you.
3. One person is always to blame in divorce. That is not always true. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out. You married young and decided you wanted different things or you grow apart. There are so many reasons for divorce, and because it takes two to make a marriage work, it usually takes two to make a divorce happen.
4. One person always gets screwed in divorce. It has been said that a successful divorce is where both party’s walk away feeling like they got screwed, and generally that is the case. He complains that she gets the house and the kids and she complains that she doesn’t get enough child support. Do you see what I mean? Both parties feel like they got the short end of the stick.
5. Judges in divorce court favor the mother. Judges are impartial and are supposed to take the best interest of the children into consideration. When they make their decisions, based on the facts they have, that is what they do. Mothers do generally get custody, but not all fathers ask for custody. There are now 2.2 million divorced women in the United States who do not have primary physical custody of their children, and an estimated 50 percent of fathers who seek such custody in a disputed divorce are granted it. Judges try to consider all factors when it comes to support and custody and rule accordingly.
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