The stress of looking just right to attract the just right guy.
“If I could only loose these last 5 (10, or 15) pounds, I would be able to meet someone” or, “When I lose 10 pounds, I am going to start dating again.” Have you ever made such a promise to yourself, only to find that you were unable to lose the weight you determined was necessary to date, and if you did, you would soon gain it back, and maybe a few pounds extra?
This is what happens to Aaron. The thought of what it would feel like to have someone special in her life makes her feel so good until she takes a look at herself in the mirror. “How could anyone I want to date find me attractive?” Do you ever have the same thought as Aaron, and feel discouraged, or frustrated at the reflection starring back at you?
Aaron had struggled with her weight most of her life. The more she focused on it, the more it consumed her. Everything she did was influenced by how she felt about her physical body, and how she perceived herself being ‘seen’ by others. This is The Law of Attraction in Action. It absorbed a phenomenal amount of her mental, emotional, and physical energy. Not to mention the cost of depending on something outside herself in an attempt to make her situation better; the latest diet pill, diet, or work out that promises amazing results. How you ever been there, done that? How did it work out for you?
For, Aaron not so well. She realized it was time to try a different approach, and started telling a different story; one that supported what she wanted, and not what she was currently living, or afraid she couldn’t make happen. Her first step: She accepted her weight. Every pound. In accepting her weight, she was accepting herself. In her self-acceptance, she was inspired to do what was necessary to help herself feel better for her sake. This included reassessing what I call the Trilogy of Health and Well being: emotional management, nutritional choices, and exercise.
The differentiator is not how much you weigh; it is whether or not you feel happy and healthy in the skin you’re in.
Having said that, it isn’t the weight that is keeping you from having a sweet love, it is how you feel about your body, and how that translates into how you live your life regardless of what you feel is the perfect weight for you. If you are not happy with who you are right now, losing weight is not going to change that. This is why diets do not work. It is the relationship you have with yourself that determines whether or not the weight you take off stays off. In fact, the relationship you have with yourself determines the quality of everything moment in your life.
Here are 6 tips to help you love yourself into being the weight you desire for your sake. With this approach, a love that lasts will follow.
• Be aware of the things you say to yourself about your weight and dating. Do your thoughts uplift you, or make you feel miserable. If it’s the latter . . .
• Know that the more you focus on your weight from a place of worry, anxiety, or fear of not being able to sustain your goal once you achieve it, the more likely you will re-recreate the cycle of gaining and loosing. This is The Law of Attraction in Action. So . . .
• Appreciate your body, the weight it is, the health it has, and all that you are able to experience in your life because of it.
• Find something about your body that you love and focus on that. Your eyes, your hair, your smile. Anything.
• Remember the truth of who you are; valuable, worthy, and divine. You are not your weight, your worry, or any nonproductive behavior you may participate in, in an attempt to feel better.
• Be compassionate with yourself as you acknowledge, and if necessary, forgive yourself for the choices you have made that have up until now, delayed the manifestation of your goal.
With this approach Aaron found that she felt happier, and more inspired to do what was necessary to support the health of her body. The more she accepted and loved herself while focusing on what she wanted to change for her sake, the more evidence she saw of it in her life, including the kind of relationship she wanted to have. This is The Law of Attraction in Action.
You do not have to weight to date. For more information on this topic, read my post on To Date or to Weight . . . at www.blog/leeannhawkins.com .
This article has excerpts from my book, Find Love at Last! 7 Steps to Attracting the Sweetest Love You Have Ever Known, which can be purchase at My Store, through Amazon.com.