6) You use alcohol as permission to speak your mind. You find yourself repeatedly having a melt down when the two of you drink together. The Plan: If I go too far in expressing my feelings, I can always blame the alcohol in the morning. No harm done.
7) You change your daily routine, when he is out of town. His business trips and boy’s nights are your time to do the things you really want to do. The Plan: I can get by with being myself occasionally and he’ll never know the difference.
Before you go beating yourself up for any of these behaviors, understand that everything you do is for good reason, no matter how misguided. Your intention is to have a good relationship and make your partner happy, yet something feels like its missing and that something is you!
It is possible to come out of hiding and improve your relationship. Good relationships (and your well being) start in your head. Follow the steps below to harness your thoughts and your brain chemistry to be your sexiest, most confident, most interesting and attractive you yet. Be yourself again!
5 Steps For Coming Out of Hiding:
1) Determine what you really think and feel. Chances are you haven’t gone down this road for awhile. The most effective way to cut through the “shoulds” and get to the “desires” is to journal. Let the thoughts out without judging them. Try this FREE on line journal course “Thoughts That Make You Feel Good.”
2) Rule out brain chemical imbalance. Sounds technical and unlikely, but it is estimated that 80% of people in the US are low in serotonin and that is just one of the brain chemicals needed for emotional balance and to be clear about your own feelings. Gauge Your Emotional Balance.
3) Speak your truth. Tell your partner something that you have been holding in. Let him know that you are not expecting him to solve your problem or change his behavior. Explain that sharing your feelings makes you feel secure and sexy.
4) Act on your thoughts. Once you have uncovered what you think, there is likely something that you really want to do. Do it! The best way to build your self-validation muscle is to go for it! Chances are, your partner will be completely supportive of your dreams.
5) Encourage your partner to take these steps for himself. Women are not the only ones who get stuck on living up to expectations. There is probably something he’s been wanting to do or say, but doesn’t think you’ll approve. The mutual liberation can make your relationship safe, intimate, hot and steamy.
If you are still feeling a little selfish for considering these steps, keep this in mind. You are not doing this only for yourself. Coming out of hiding will benefit your partner and can even improve both of your health including disease prevention, weight loss and anti-aging. You are doing you both a favor!