Don't sweat over every single movement your partner makes, let them make their own decisions.
Nitpicking is defined as "trivial criticism or faultfinding", or in other words—focusing on the little things in a negative way.
So anyone who is in a relationship with a 'nit-picker' (the 'nitpicked') no doubt experiences that same level of frustration.
The 'nitpicker' will follow this general pattern of behavior:
1. Observance—The 'nitpicker' will quietly observe what 'the nitpicked' is doing from the corner of his/her eye, whether the 'nitpicked' is washing the dishes or changing a diaper.
2. Interference—The 'nitpicker' will then find some form of fault in the 'nitpicked's' action and will quickly let the 'nitpicked' know what he/she is doing wrong.
3. Instruction—The 'nitpicker' is so confident that 'my way is best' that he/she immediately has a better way for the 'nitpicked' to do things.
If you recognize yourself as being a 'nitpicker', that’s the first step to curing yourself of this annoying habit.
(Note to the 'nitpicker': these tips aren’t meant for situations of positive, constructive criticism or assistance, but are strictly reserved for nit-picking situations.)
Here is relationship advice on how to control the urge to nit-pick your partner:
• First off, learn not to 'sweat the small stuff'—Think big and try to develop the habit of not focusing on the little things.
• Find something else to focus on—if your partner is doing something that you know for sure that you could do better, don’t watch! Ignore it, and find something else to do!
• Bite your tongue—if you’ve struggled with point 1, then definitely don’t offer your two cents worth. Realize that maybe the way that your partner is doing something works well for him/her even though it wouldn’t work for you.
It may not be easy to identify when you have lapsed into your 'nitpicking' ways but ask yourself this question in each situation and if you can answer 'yes' to it, then you know that you're 'nitpicking'.
If you want a FREE audio and lesson on how to regain your temper and communicate with your partner click here.
This article was originally published at www.relationshipsuite.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.