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Break The Cycle- How Criticism Damages Your Relationship

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Here's to a happier relationship.

They say that love is blind. Well, at least it starts off that way. You meet the girl/guys of your dreams, fall in love and can’t get enough of each other. At this stage, many couples are blinded to each other’s faults and are full of compliments for each other.

According to Warren Farrell, “During the honeymoon phase of a relationship, the ratio of positive to negative comments tends to be 100 to 1!" This is why it’s called the honeymoon phase, because all you can see are the many wonderful traits of your partner. The more time that couples spend in a relationship, the more comfortable they feel around each other.

This obviously is a good thing, but it also has its drawbacks — the blinders start to come off and partners begin to identify faults in each other. Which in itself can have positive results if you're willing to work on these faults and grow together. The problems come into play when couples become blinded to each other’s positive qualities, and instead focus on the negative, criticize each other and complain.

Here’s some relationship advice on how you and your partner can break this cycle of criticism.

1. Make the decision 

You and your partner need to make an active decision to change this. This may seem simple, but as they say, recognizing the problem is half the battle.

2. Compliment, don’t criticize 

Look for ways to compliment your partner as often as possible. Nothing breaks the criticism cycle better than compliments. Farrell says that the couple must keep the proportion of positives to negatives 4-1 if they're to maintain positive feelings for each other.

3. Criticize constructively

If you’re in a situation where you’d like to point out areas where you feel that your partner could improve, do this in a way that doesn’t come across as critical, but rather as constructive advice. For example, instead of: "You are so untidy. You always leave your clothes lying around!" Say: "What would really make me happy is if we could work together to keep our home tidy. How should we split the chores?"

Try it, and let me know how it works for you. Click here for FREE Audio Lesson on how to break the cycle of criticism in your relationship.

This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission from the author.


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