to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchRichard  La RuinaDavid SteeleCatherine Behan
ProConnect

Bring On Your Good – perfecting an attitude of gratitude

By posted

Have you noticed that in some business or social settings it seems popular to complain? People make funny comments about their spouse's idiosyncrasies, their kids' laziness, their coworkers' habits. Maybe, they complain about the weather, or the crowded parking lot.

If you are hanging out with folks who are doing this, don't let them get away with it! Become a model for looking for what works and "having something nice to say". Guilty, yourself? Cut it out, OK?

The best way to get more of the good stuff is to put all of your attention on what you already have. This isn't some Pollyanna, denial philosophy. The therapy room, support group or occasional gripe session with a friend are good places to release your unhappy thoughts and difficult experiences.

However, on a daily basis, you will find you feel happier and more appreciative of your life, family, work, community and so on, if you focus on gratitude.

In Forgive For Good by Frederic Luskin, there is a great recommendation: Tell your painful story once, twice, then work on letting it go. He teaches wonderful ways to release suffering and stress and find peace around the most painful things.

One good way to shift your focus from negative to grateful is to bring your attention to a happy or joyful memory. The Institute of HeartMath has great mind/body/spirit approaches to shifting your perceptions. The methods they teach are a great way to come into your appreciations mind set, via focus on the heart. The heart actually has its own separate brain, which is wise and intuitive. Check the HeartMath materials out and be amazed!

Here are some ways to change the tone at home or work without being judgmental:

* Find a like minded friend to get together and say "gratitudes" each morning
* Start a trend at work with an appreciation board where folks can hang anonymous positive remarks
* Find a coin on the ground? Pick it up and rejoice aloud. Start a special fund with it and add "windfalls" as they arrive
* Check out The HeartMath Solution by Doc Childre or other Heartmath materials

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is a great tool on the path of living Your Authentic Life!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Laurie Stolmaker

Counselor/TherapistYour desire to improve your life experience is a great sign that you are on your way to feeling better about whatever it is that is troubling you. The uncomfortable feelings you may be experiencing are your own inner guidance to take a look at what isn’t working and begin to make decisions that will help, to find solutions and move forward.
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Credentials: MA, MFT
Other Articles/News by Laurie Stolmaker:

Success Is Closer Than You Think.

By

I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot...And I missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is precisely...Why I succeed. --Michael Jordan   What is Michael Jordan talking about? ... Read more

Empowering Teens - School Is Not One Size Fits All

By

In my community, we recently lost another teen to suicide. He was a successful, well liked kid from a great family.   We can only conjecture about what happens when a teen feels so overwhelmed that they take such drastic measures. We do the best we can as parents, friends and counselors to help kids through times that seem beyond what they can ... Read more

The Brain In Your Heart

By

"I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear. We will be taught what we need to learn." --Melody Beattie My friends and colleagues who have stayed in touch over the years know that I often ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
whitney houston

Wisdom from Whitney: Put Yourself First [EXPERT]

More than tragedy: Whitney's passing offers us wisdom we can apply in our lives right away.

Couple 1

Living Your Core Values Leads to a Healthy Love Life [EXPERT]

Find success in love by defining and living your core values.

Boxing Gloves

A Man Cave Prevents Communication Problems

Constructing a "Man Cave" in your relationship can save your relationship. Here's how.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

How Can I Know Who Is The Right Expert For Me?

Take a few minutes to read over our best tips on how to pick the right Expert for you!

See more resources>