The New Rules For Dating In A Digital World


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How texting and tweeting are changing our love lives.

Modern Etiquette (n.) Socially acceptable behaviors or mannerly communications from you and your iPad, Droid, laptop or anything else with a screen.

Manners have gone digital. And that means you're probably asking yourself a million little questions about online behavior. When should you text your latest crush? Is it acceptable to announce your company's latest acquisition via tweet? Should you tag your friend on Facebook in that questionably attractive photo?


Our online lives bring a totally new world of etiquette. Now, one swift keystroke can literally make or break a relationship, whether it's a crush, colleague, or friend. And though it's definitely not what your mamma taught you, that doesn't mean these 2.0 behaviors give you license to forget everything you learned growing up. The modern and old school need to co-exist. Smooching 101: 3 Easy Steps To Becoming A Better Kisser

Singles often tell me that they're disappointed that the new norm is to get asked out on a date via text. On the flip side, just as many tell me how talking on the phone seems too formal. It turns out that others agree, including Miss Manners herself.

Of course, it's ideal for your date to call and invite you out voice to voice. And you should still call, because it certainly ups the level of commitment and attention you're giving your match. But the more tech rules our lives, the more calling becomes akin to riding in on a white stallion. Consider the social norm. Do all your friends call to invite you out to dinner? It's likely that some — if not all — are texting you instead. When society's behaviors shift, your dating life follows. Because at the end of the day, dating is part of your social life. 

But don't be fooled; digital manners can be sweeping gestures. Texting 'thank you' after a date can be as polite as opening someone's door. Planning a date using the latest app can be as chivalrous as picking up the tab. And tweeting sweet nothings can be as romantic as laughing at all your dates' jokes. It's still the thought and effort that counts. Why European Women Ooze Sensuality

Of course, wooing in real life shouldn't stop completely. The only difference is that you now need to consider your online efforts as much as your in-person behaviors. One without the other simply isn't effective, particularly because actions on the web can be even more tangible than real-life happenings. Leaving a virtual trail means that those experiences can be imprinted on your hard drive and your memory.

Article contributed by
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Laurie Davis


Laurie Davis is an online dating expert and the author of Love @ First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating. Her company, eFlirt Expert, helps singles navigate flirting and relationships via technology by writing their online dating profiles, decoding their dates’ text messages, managing their digital dating lives, and helping them transition to meaningful, offline relationships. Laurie was nominated Best Dating Coach in the 2013 and 2012 iDate Awards and her advice has been featured in over 200 international media outlets including The New York Times, Good Morning America, Forbes, Men’s Health and Elle. She is engaged to her tweetheart who she eFlirted with in 140 characters on Twitter. Connect with her on Twitter and Facebook!

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender)
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