What is it exactly that makes a couple click? And what are the qualities that keep them happily joined long after the first flush of love fades? Here are 10 qualities to look for in your own modern-day prince or princess. If you both possess these 10 traits, together you just may have your own happily ever after.
A no-brainer, honesty would have made this list in 1911 too. But, do we really know what it means? Honesty seems so black and white, but it’s much more complicated than that, though no less vital. A commitment to honesty means the ability to walk the tightrope between brutally laying down the cold hard facts, and sugarcoating the truth until it really isn’t the truth at all. This quality is particularly imperative for both couples to share – with a mutual commitment to honesty, the transparency of each will be valued by the other, even when what they have to say may be difficult for the other to hear.
This quality is one that most people assume they have, or at least assume they know what it is. Merriam Webster defines loyalty as “unswerving in allegiance… faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due…constant, dedicated, devoted, devout, down-the-line, fast, good, faithful,
staunch…steadfast, steady, true, true-blue”. That pretty much covers it. A person’s loyalty is something you know you have when you have it, and devastating to discover you don’t. It’s the act, promise, and commitment to stand by someone’s side no matter what happens. It’s defending your partner even when (especially when!) they are not around. In fact, evidence of loyalty is when others would not even dream of saying anything negative about your person around you, because they know what your response would be.
Trust is an essential building block of any successful relationship. It’s the fruit of honesty and loyalty. When you have it, you feel safe, secure, loved. Trust means freedom; with it, you are free to be who you really are in a relationship, because you trust the person you are with to accept you. Having trust means you are assured of your partner’s faithfulness, devotion, and love.
Priority for me means I know I’m number one in my husband’s life. Even if other things are pressing for our attention, I know I can always reach him. Not just reach him via phone, text, or email, but reach him: I can cut through whatever crazy, hectic things are going on around us, and reach out to him – and have him respond, and reach out to me too. It means that if I call him at work and say, “I need you to come home – now, because the kids are sick and I’m going crazy and I can’t take it anymore,” that he will drop whatever he is doing and come home. Period.
Of course, his trust in me is warranted by the fact that I don’t abuse being the top priority.