At the start of the New Year, we often make goals about our career, health, or relationships. Unfortunately by the end of January, too many of us give up on those goals. Not because we're lazy or we didn't really want the things, it's because we don't believe we can actually have them.
We often blame it on not enough time or discipline, when in reality it's neither of these things. The truth is we don't actually believe we can create what we want.
It's okay not to believe in yourself (at least some of the time).
I know we hear a lot in our society, especially in the self-help world, about the importance of belief. Especially, how it's important to believe in our dreams and ourselves.
If you've been reading my blogs or are one of my clients, you'll you know that I think that the power of positive thinking is one of the greatest tools we have. In order to achieve optimum health and live successfully without letting IBS or other digestive disorders rule your life, you must believe that you can take charge of the way your body responds to daily life.
But like anything else if we force ourselves into it we can make ourselves worse and it can become its own self-sabotage (a great mind distraction).
I am human and there are days, sometimes too many, where thoughts of disbelief in my abilities and myself appear. What I realized is that when those thoughts appear and my belief in myself starts to diminish, I no longer fight or resist them.
And the reason is simple: it's just way too exhausting. So I just let them be.
The amount of energy that it takes to force yourself to believe something when there is a hidden emotion underneath the belief is way too great and you may find yourself in a mind battle with that negative thought. You may be able to replace that thought, but it’s usually through force, which is never truly effective.
What I've learned it's okay to allow the thought to be there. When I stopped resisting it I usually notice the hidden emotion behind it. The funny thing about emotions is that they are happy to hide in the shadows, but seep into our thoughts only when we least expect it. When I let the thought be there I create space for the emotion.
Even though it doesn't necessarily feel good to feel bad, it's truly necessary to building a strong foundation of belief in myself.
Why? Because I can trust my emotions and learn from them. I can get content with the fact that they are temporary. I can relax knowing that my mind and body know exactly what's right for me even if I can’t see it in the moment.
That is what creates a true belief in yourself.
How is it done?
One: Identify when your mind is questioning your belief in yourself.
Two: Identify what you would like to believe.
Three: Relax, take a deep breath or do another activity that will stop your mind from fixating on the lack of belief.
Four: Take notice of the emotion that comes up when you revisit the belief that is in question.
Five: Allow yourself to feel the emotion without judgment. You can write it down on paper or notice where it sits in your body and create movement for it. These activities should allow you to be free with the emotion, it's not about getting rid of it or changing it.
Six: Simply move on. Notice if your thoughts are different now. Is it easier to believe? Do you still feel a lack of trust in yourself? If so, spend a small amount of time like two or three minutes with what comes up around that. Look for evidence that the actually true.
Seven: With practice you will get better at recognizing when your lack of belief and trust in yourself is getting in the way of feeling better and achieving your goals. Then you will be able to get okay with temporary lapses of mistrust in yourself which will put you in a more empowered, trusting place where it is easy to believe in yourself and everything you want to accomplish.
Are you looking for ways to calm your body and mind? You can find them in my e-book Listening to Your Gut: Connect With Your Body and Get IBS Relief
More self-love advice from YourTango:
- The Way To True Love Is Through Self Love
- Love: Tips & Expert Advice
- How To Be Happy: It's A Process