Have you ever wondered Why? Why did this happen? Why did I get assaulted? I finally found my Why.
Everything happens for a reason… yeah right… or so I believed…
by Laura Kendall
Everything happens for a reason. Yeah right! Or so I believed.
For many years it has been impossible for me to wrap my mind around this saying. I've been on a never-ending quest of WHY. A quest that finally ended just a few days ago when I started reading a book titled - Everything happens for a reason (finding the true meaning of the events in our lives) by Mira Kirshenbaum. Thanks to this amazing book, I now know without a shadow of a doubt why the horrific catalyst of events that happened and forever altered my life and the way I see life, had to happen.
For so many years I stayed rooted in the story of my past - why? why? why? I'd ask repeated. Why did this happen to me? Why was I betrayed by so many pivotal people, family members and the born again Christian church I lived my life for? People who loved money far more than they ever loved me. Why did I lose my family, life style, faith all in one powerful swoop?
As I started reading this book and asking myself the series of simple questions in it, things became blindingly clear. These events had to happen in order for me to become the woman I am today. The story I live today is far different from when these events happened. This book made me realize I've actually made a pretty darn good life for myself. For the first time in my life, at the age of 51, I actually love myself. I believe in myself. I finally know that my beliefs, wants, needs, passions, voice to be heard - MATTER!
I have to confess that up until I was badly assaulted in 2010, while in the performance of my job as a paramedic, I wallowed in my past story and I had the self-esteem of a rock. I was someone who didn't feel like I mattered. I had no voice. I took on the beliefs, wants, needs of others because they told me I should. I was not equipped than to really see the truth - that I do matter as does everyone else in this world. No one of us is better than the other. No one of us should ever push our beliefs or wants or needs on another person. Whether we realize it or not our actions and words have profound effects on people in our lives.
It took the assault, the trial (facing my assailant) and going into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for me to finally wake up and start figuring out me. I now realize that I have been on the most amazing journey. A journey not to the center of the earth - but to the center of Laura J. Kendall. A journey certainly not over. I still have times where I slip back to the old me - the old way of thinking, but now with my lessons learned and the meanings I have gotten from this book, I can pick up the oar and row my ass right out of the old- why me- lagoon and into fresh, clear, clean water of thinking.
I have been feeling this for a while now, but couldn't put it into words or true action.
This book finally made it clear to me that all I have been through in life had to happen and was to help me become free of all the old manipulations, control and guilt induced living and to go on this journey of discovering what I want. Who I want to become. What my needs are. To grow my self-esteem. To know that without a shadow of a doubt I can now allow true friendship and romantic love into my life - without losing me. I am strong enough now to retain my beliefs. To say what I want or don't want. To love fully without losing my essence.
I also know that I will only allow real into my life. I am never going to accept the fluff of fake friendship, love, words, beliefs into my life ever again. Enough is enough. No more dream squashers will ever be allowed to have a place in my head or life.
I want you to know that I believe in you. That if you've never heard this before said out loud - your feelings, your wants, your needs, your beliefs MATTER - just as much as anyone else. What has happened in your life that you are hurting over? What has made you doubt yourself and be less than the magnificent, beautiful, amazing, kick ass person you really are inside?
So my challenge to you - to anyone who is hurting as badly as I was and wondering what the hell am I here for? Why did this have to happen to me? What is the purpose of my life? Go get this book and read it and do the simple thought-provoking questions. I hope when you are done you will see as I did that everything in your life has been for a purpose - the purpose of become a more authentic you. Mira Kirsenbaum I thank you for this beautiful gift of finally having my answers to WHY.
Have a magical day everyone. Enjoy your life and know that everything that has happened to you or will happen to us, is for a reason - the reason of becoming a more authentic, strong, amazing U! Sign up for a free 30 Minute Coaching Session with expert Laura J. Kendall/
To your Success!
Laura J. Kendall