The Do's and Don'ts of Honoring Your Man

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The Do's and Don'ts of Honoring Your Man
Here are some tips to help the modern woman boost her man's feelings of respect and acceptance.

In relationships men want to feel accepted and respected. Back in the day, housewives may have greeted their husbands with a drink as soon as he got home from work, fetched his paper and slippers, or maybe they submissively took on a "don't speak until spoken to" role. During the feminist movement, we broke free from some of the traditional gender-role stereotypes. For modern women trying to balance work, kids, and their love lives these old-fashioned ways of honoring your mate aren't going to cut it. So, what’s a modern woman to do? Here are some tips to help make your man feel like the man.

Do speak highly of your man. Brag about him in front of friends and family. Tell them about how he gave the kids a bath so that you could have an hour to yourself after a long day. Spend some time focusing on the all the little things he does that make you love him so and spread the word. Not only does it help your man to know that you appreciate him, it is also a good reminder to yourself of how good you have it!

Don't bad mouth him. Now this may seem redundant but there is a distinction here. If we are going to be boasting about our man, it's important to remember to keep his smaller wrong-doings private. As women, we tend to talk and talk. We tell everyone our problems and will tell all of our girlfriends, our family members, and our co-workers about his smallest faults. This is demeaning for men and also paints a less than rosy picture of your mate, which can permanently taint how those people view him. Bad mouthing him just undermines all the hard work we did while bragging about him. We all need to vent sometimes just try to do it judiciously. This means no venting on Facebook or Twitter!

Do acknowledge his efforts. Sometimes we just don't give men enough credit and that needs to change. When you notice him following through with something he said he would do or when you see that he is making an honest effort to change, let him know that you noticed and that you appreciate what he is doing for you, the family, and the relationship.

Don't forget about the small things. It is the small daily stressors that put wear and tear on relationships. So, yes, notice the big things he does but remember to pay attention to all those little things too. Maybe he washed the dishes without being asked, picked up your favorite dessert at the store on his way home, or folded the laundry. Whatever it was, a simple "thank you" will do wonders.

Do be enthusiastic about sexOne of the main ways that men gauge their acceptance with a woman is by how badly she "wants" him. So, give your man what he is looking for- an open, enthusiastic lover. Let him know that you want him. Build the anticipation during the day by wearing some sexy underwear, sending him a suggestive text, and being extra affectionate and touchy-feely  throughout the night to boost levels of oxytocin, aka the love hormone.

Don't just lie there. Being an enthusiastic lover means not letting him do all the work. Just lying there and accepting him isn't quite his idea of being enthusiastic. Be an active participant and allow yourself to fully enjoy the experience. Forget about the cellulite or the extra ten pounds you’ve been meaning to lose. Afterall, by the time your clothes are off your partner certainly has. Maybe even make the first move for a change of pace. The more you get into it, the more you both will enjoy it.

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Laura Fontaine

Relationship Coach

Laura Fontaine is a relationship coach who specializes in working with career women in committed relationships.  She helps them resolve their unique challenges so they connect with their partner from the heart, achieving and maintaining a deep, soul-satisfying bond.  Over a decade of working with individuals, couples, and families gives her a unique perspective on the workings of relationships and the power of the individual.  Her passion is to help women have the best relationships they can envision for themselves.  

Location: Queen Creek, AZ
Credentials: BCC, MS
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Marriage
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