One of the signs that your marriage is in trouble is that you no longer plan special time together. Whether it is an intimate dinner out, a romantic evening away or a quiet, connecting hike; when neither of you is creating opportunities to be alone with each other, you should ask yourself why. I had the honor of participating in Tony Robbin’s Date with Destiny program a few years ago where I learned one of the most important relationship rules. In his words, every relationship requires C.A.N.I. or a commitment to constant and never-ending improvement.
As I have moved forward after my own divorce and been blessed to create and sustain an extraordinary new relationship, C.A.N.I. has been the cornerstone of our success. We are vigilant in our awareness of what is going on between us, and fully committed to addressing all issues as they arise.
Just because your marriage or relationship is showing any or all of these signs, it does not necessarily mean that it is over. Rather, these are significant red flags that cannot go unnoticed if you value and honor the longevity of your relationship and marriage.
Unfortunately the fear of what might happen if we acknowledge or address these issues often convinces us that things will simply work themselves out over time. But here’s the thing, relationships that are struggling will almost never work themselves out without a commitment to action that will strengthen and repair them.
Don’t become someone who looks back after their divorce and knows deep down that it might have been prevented. If the signs are there, find the courage, the commitment and the desire to face your fear and do whatever it takes.