- Bad behavior speaks for itself
In an age of social media; texting, sexting, facebook, instagram, youtube…there are numerous ways to impulsively and publicly share our challenges, adversities, anger and hurt. What we often forget is that bad behavior speaks for itself. The tendency is to falsely believe that it is necessary to spread the word about your partner’s bad behavior and share it with the world so that everyone knows that you’ve been wronged. Unfortunately, that is not what really happens. When bad behavior is met with even worse behavior, it takes the focus off of the original act. Imagine someone hitting you and instead of hitting them back harder, you simply walk away with your head held high. The old saying is true, two wrongs don’t make a right. When you react to infidelity with fury, revenge, retaliation and public displays of humiliation, it does not in any way showcase the affair. And it will never make the pain of the affair go away. Rather, it marginalizes you and will force people to more likely focus on your inability to control your emotions than to give you the support you will need to navigate next steps.
- What happens next is up to you
Being in a relationship with someone who has been unfaithful does not make you a victim. In fact, once you aware of the infidelity, what happens next is 100% your choice. I am in no way suggesting that this will be an easy situation to manage, however you now have significant choices to make. Your partner’s decision to engage in adultery in no way prevents you from moving forward; instead it means that you will need good and skilled support to help you determine what you want to happen and how to make it happen with courage, confidence, clarity and control. This is an opportunity to stand powerfully in your own core values, wants and needs; and intentionally choose what you want to happen next.
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Infidelity is a complex, emotional and potentially volatile experience to manage. There is no right or wrong when it comes to navigating these waters and determining what will happen next in your relationship or marriage. And when there are children involved, even more care, consideration and restraint need to be put into the process of moving forward. For your own benefit, take the time you need and get the support you deserve so that you can take action in a way that allows you to be the person you really are.