The Sucker Punch

• Embrace the Sucker Punch!  You know that they are out there and that you can reliably expect one every now and again.  So when you are caught off guard, welcome it in like you would an old friend.  Recognize that it is part of the journey and nestle in with the emotions it brings.  Indulge in a hearty cry, write about it in your journal, invite a good friend over and share it with them over a glass of wine or cup of tea.  Embracing the sucker punch will hasten its departure and allow you to step even more fully into your journey forward.

• Do not seek out the Sucker Punch.  There are many ways to prepare and plan for your new life after divorce, and the many emotions that it brings with it.  If you know that there are certain triggers for your sadness, take time to find ways to avoid them.  Perhaps planning a weekend getaway at a destination you and your Ex once experienced together is not a good idea.  There are many options for weekend getaways.  We all know that there are certain experiences that will be different than we once planned for (college visits, holiday celebrations, certain social events…).  While you may be a glutton for punishment, a more healthy approach for you is to anticipate and strategically plan for these experiences in a way that empowers and strengthens you.

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So take a deep breath and remember, the sucker punch is part of your new life after divorce; but it does not define it.  Like all waves, they come, and then they go; and you will still be standing strong when they do!